What Men Really Want In A Relationship?
They say that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. But unless you take the time to understand what men want from a relationship, you might find it hard to strengthen what you have with someone. In this article, Beauty and Tips delves into the male psyche (IKR) to uncover what guys really want in a relationship.
Men like to pretend that they’re simple lumps. Give them a video game, some nachos, a few beers and cuddles afterwards, and they’re good. Maybe take them out for a walk now and then, too. After all, they need air as well!
But men, despite what they say, actually want more from a relationship. And unless you understand what it is they want and give it to them, you might find that keeping your relationship strong and healthy isn’t easy.
Misunderstandings and miscommunication are common reasons why relationships break down. We all have needs and wants, and unless these are understood and respected, it’s very hard for two people to pull in the same direction. You might like to act like you understood what your man wants, but unless you really take the time to listen to what he wants, you’ll always be operating on a different level.
If you want to understand your man better, let’s take a look at a few things that men really want in a relationship.
We all know that men have tender egos. They get sore easily. They bruise at the slightest criticism.
“You burnt my toast.”
“Why don’t you get that guy who smiled at you on the bus to make you your toast then!?”
Guys don’t like it when we criticise them. It’s just the way they are. They like to be seen as the heroes; the ones who make everything better.
They basically want to be Batman.
Unfortunately, women are very good at picking up on a guys mistakes, and a lot less good at giving him praise. Have you noticed this? Maybe you’re quick to pass judgement when your man does something wrong, but forget to praise him when he does something right. Maybe you think he doesn’t need praise – he knows how good he is.
But guys need praise. They need approval. They need constant reassurance that they’re your hero.
So give it to him. Don’t worry that you might be stroking his ego. Big him up. Tell him what you love about him.
Acceptance For What He Is
Yes, men do understand that they have flaws, weird quirks, and even really bad stuff ingrained in their psyche.
But while there will be certain aspects of their character and behaviour they’re willing to change, there will also be aspects that they won’t want to compromise on.
And they really need you to accept who they are, as opposed to trying to sculpt them into a new ideal.
Once you start trying to change a man, you’re on the slippery road to relationship disaster.
Guys have a big thing about respect. They might always show it, but they really want you to respect them.
They want you to respect their career choice. They want you to respect their fashion choices. They want you to respect their friends and their family. They want you to respect their decisions, and not to contest them all the time,
But most of all, they want you to respect them.
If you can’t respect them, it dents their ego and their pride. It also devalues them somewhat. They’re supposed to be your protector. But if you don’t respect them, what does that mean?
An Emotional Safe Space
Thought men were invincible? Thought they never cry?
Maybe you even started to believe that yours really was Batman?!
Guys, however much of a front they put up, are emotional people. They cry. Heck, they sometimes blubber.
Not over a movie like we do. But over things that happen in real life, such as a bad day at work, worries over the future, their parents being sick and so on.
Guys don’t like to cry around other guys. They’re not really supposed to. It’s an unwritten wolf pack rule.
And they don’t like to show their vulnerable side off on Facebook either. They’d rather talk about wrestling and manly stuff.
But they need an emotional outlet. They need a safe space. And they want that to be you. He wants to talk to you about things he can’t talk to anyone else about. He wants you to be there when he’s mentally unstable. He doesn’t want you to judge him. He doesn’t necessarily always want you to give him advice. He just wants you to listen to him, and to be there for him.
You’ve probably already noticed that men tend to be very direct about what they want.
And they want the same sort of directness from you.
They want you to be honest and upfront. Communicate with them, spill the beans. Don’t be vague. Don’t lie that you’re fine when you’re not fine. Let them know what’s on your mind.
There is an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, in which Debra points out how difficult it is to get certain guys to commit.
She’s right, of course. There are lots of guys who are hard to tie down. And one of the reasons is that they want to hold onto their freedom for as long as possible.
Guys need space. Without it, they’ll feel suffocated by your kisses and affection, and your perfume-drenched pillow. They’ll feel trapped, and may look for ways out.
Sure, you might want to spend all your time with them. But they need space. They need time with their buddies. They need time alone. Because guys – unlike a lot of women – have solitary passions, whether it be making things (we have no idea what) in the garage to collecting baseball cards.
They love being close to you. But they really, really want some space, too. If you want your relationship to work, give them their space. Suffocate him, come on too strong and demand all his time, and he will likely grow distant and fed up.