What Is The Difference Between Superficial Love And True Love?
We all want to be loved. But how do we know when what we’re experiencing is true and not just superficial?
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, you’ll know that your feelings for the other person can be pretty intense. They range from desire to infatuation to love. But how do you know what you are feeling is true love or something else? What’s the difference between lusting after someone and loving them? And how do we know that our relationship is built on the steady, wondrous foundations of true love and not flimsy, mere infatuation that will soon pass?
It’s not always so easy to tell. Many people have thought themselves to be in love, only to later realise that what they were feeling was pure lust. Eventually, it passed and there was nothing left to sustain the relationship.
True love stays. It lasts. It’s such a powerful thing that it can stay for the rest of your life. If it’s so powerful, why don’t we always immediately recognise it?
Look at superficial love and true love like two different drugs. Superficial love gives you an immediate hit so powerful that it can feel like real love. However, the feeling doesn’t last. It passes, and you realise that you’re returning to your normal feelings.
True love is an intoxication that lasts and lasts and lasts. And it grows.
Let’s take a look at a few ways in which you can tell the difference between true love and superficial love.
True Love Requires Less Assurance From Others
Ever been in a relationship and felt so unsure about things that you asked others what they think? Maybe you asked your friends and family what they think about your relationship. Are they getting good vibes from it? Do they think the guy is right for you? Maybe you also found yourself questioning the relationship itself to your partner. Maybe you were never sure right from the start that he was totally into you.
If you’re not 100% sure about a relationship, there’s a good chance that it’s built on superficial love.
True love isn’t like this at all. When a relationship is sustained on real love, there is no need for you to seek assurances from other people as to the health of your relationship. You know it’s the right one for you because you feel it in your heart. You’re confident that this is the One, and you don’t need anyone else to come along and tell you otherwise or give you advice. There are no doubts. You know how you feel. And if your friends don’t like it or can’t get along with your partner? To heck with them!
When You Love Someone For Real, You Love Everything About Them
We all have flaws. For every person who is quick tempered, other people are perpetually negative about things. For everyone who is clumsy and always making mistakes, others are constantly forgetting things. But we’re all human beings who are on our own personal arcs in life, and we’re all learning. We’re learning to keep our temper in check, to be more positive, to make less mistake, and to remember things.
But you know what? It’s flaws that people fall in love.
When you’re in love with someone, you’re in love with them warts ’n’ all. You love everything about them, from the way they look to the cute, quirky things they do. You take them as they are. If there are things they want to improve on, you want to help them. You want to make their journey yours.
Superficial love is a lot less like this. Superficial love is largely physical. You might also like a persons confidence or their sense of humour. But you’re not willing to go deep and spend much time really getting to know someone. You like them on the surface, but you don’t want to probe too far.
When It’s True Love, You See A Clear Future Together
When you love someone truly, you spend a lot of time picturing the future with them. You picture yourselves living together, taking vacations together, and maybe even starting a family together. You think long-term, and a lot of what you do each day is to make sure that your future with your partner is blissful.
When love is superficial, you don’t tend to think long-term. You might envision the end of the week when you two meet up again to have some fun. But you don’t tend to picture a scenic future together with kids. You haven’t got that far yet.
You might be wondering why you have’t imagined all of that. And it’s probably because this is a love that isn’t destined to last.
With True Love, You Trust Them Unequivocally
Isn’t trust amazing? Trust is something we all aim for. To be happy in life, we need to have trust in ourselves, in the cosmos, in other people – and especially in our partner.
If you don’t trust your partner, you have to question why. What’s stopping you from trusting them 100%? Is it because of things they’ve done in the past? Or are you just not in love with them for real?
When you truly love someone with all your heart, trust comes naturally. You trust them with your entire being. If love is just superficial, it becomes a whole lot harder to trust someone like that.
When You’re In Love For Real, You Become Instantly Happier
Love is meant to enrich your life, not make it harder. But that’s what superficial love can do. Superficial can indeed by exciting (because it’s built on infatuation and lust), but it’s a lot of hard work.
As just mentioned above, you don’t trust the other person 100%. This already creates stress and jealousy. You’re also not sure of your feelings, and perhaps they’re not your number one priority. As such, the relationship is time consuming and possibly stopping you from doing other things you want to do.
True love is not like this at all. Happiness comes straight away with true love. You feel comforted, secure, blissful and confident that your life is now so much more richer.