Super Helpful Long Term Relationship Advice
Long term relationships are full of trials and tribulations. There will be times when your patience is tested, and where you both consider giving up. But a long term relationship can also be your greatest achievement in life. In this article, Beauty and Tips offers you some super helpful long term relationship advice.
Some relationships seem to last forever – just look at your grandma and granddad! Yet others only seem to last a week or two before they’re over – just look at your bestie!
“I’m single again.”
So what’s the key? How come some of us are very good at managing long term relationships, while others are very bad? Do some of us give up way too early? Or do we always meet the wrong person?
Relationships aren’t easy. They’re almost like running a whole business, and unless you do the right things and put in the time and effort and work together as a team, they won’t last. Before you know it, you’ll be out having cocktails again the girls hating on men.
To help you out, let’s take a look at some awesome long term relationship advice.
Give Them Some Space
If you don’t give your partner space right from the very start, they will eventually feel trapped and the classic “I need some space” line will come out. And when that line is trotted out, it isn’t a good sign. So, to prevent your partner from feeling trapped, give them their space. Don’t smother them and demand that they spend all their spare time with them. Realise that two people need some breathing space. You need it, too. It’s healthy and essential to the success of any long term relationship.
If you stubbornly stick to your guns at all times and take a “my way or the highway” approach, you can be sure that your long term relationship will be akin to trying to row a small boat in a storm. It will be a nightmare.
Short-term relationships are not as much about give and take – but long term relationships are all about give and take.
If you constantly take but never give, you will wear your partner and the relationship down. There has to be compromises. This is not a relationship subject to your demands and terms. That’s not in the contract. Instead, you must be prepared to listen to your partner and – at times – concede to them. This may at times go against your core vales. But we’re always learning. Principles, values and beliefs mustn’t be set in stone. There are things your partner can teach you.
So make compromises for the sake of your relationship and your own personal growth.
Communication is at the foundation of all successful relationships, especially a long term relationship.
There is a great episode of American sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond, in which Ray and his wife are scared their relationship is dying after they had nothing to say to each other over dinner.
But as they learn from their parents later in the episode, good communication is not about constantly chattering to each other about the ball game or what we did at work today. It’s about being open and honest with each other from the start.
It’s about listening to each other, talking things about, and resolving argument with compromises. It’s about understanding each others’ needs, giving each other air time to speak, and being direct with one another. If you communicate properly from the start, your long term relationship has every chance of being successful.
Take An Interest In Their Interests
You don’t have to get super involved in their interests (you both need your own separate interests, it’s healthy). But if you don’t take any interest whatsoever in their interests (we’re going to stop saying “interests” now), it can create distance in a relationship.
Think about it: Their hobbies are going to take up some of their time, and that’s time that you two won’t be spending together. So while you probably won’t go golfing with your partner, you could at least involve yourself in this strange sporting world of theirs by asking them questions about it.
They’ll appreciate it, too, and it means that you’re not totally in the dark about what it is they do when they’re away enjoying their hobby.
Ask The Big Questions
One of the reasons why long term relationships end is because sometimes people just aren’t open enough about the big questions. They’re too scared to ask where the relationship is going, or if they both want kids, or even if they could see themselves getting married.
And because these questions aren’t asked soon enough, a disjoint can be created in the relationship. All this time you wanted one thing and your partner wanted another – but neither of you realised it.
“I just always thought everyone wanted kids!”
“Oh. See I thought the opposite.”
Don’t waste each others’ time but get these things out in the open ASAP.
Understand That People Can Be Annoying
If you can’t accept that people have annoying habits and/or traits, you will never survive a long term relationship. Your partner has them and YOU have them. We all do. And unless you learn to accept this, you’re not ready to go the distance with someone.
Accept that flaws are what make people who they are and that flaws are what we fall in love with. Don’t try to change someone. If you love them, you will accept them warts ’n’ all.
… But Talk About Your Pet Peeves
That said, it’s important that if there is something that’s really, REALLY bugging you, you talk it out with your partner. Otherwise, it will keep bugging you and it could threaten the future of your relationship.
We’re not talking about things he can’t really change, such as his snoring. But if, for example, he constantly leaves the toilet seat up or wears the same pair of socks for a whole week, tell him that you dislike it and would really appreciate it if he stopped doing that.
Do you have other long term relationship advice to share?