Should You Get Back Together With Your Ex? Here Are 10 Things To Consider
Ending a relationship is never easy. It’s always a painful process that upsets both of you and leaves you wondering whether or not you’ve made the right decision.
Sometimes, despite what your head was telling you, as you broke it off, your heart continues to ask “what if?”
What if you’d stayed together and gave things another go?
What if you get back together now and give things another go?
Getting back together with your ex is not a decision to be taken lightly. And because you’ve got a hurricane of conflicting emotions swirling around inside your head, it’s not an easy decision to make. You wonder if it’s just going to be a waste of time, or whether this could be the turning point in both your lives.
If you’re not sure what to do, here are 10 things you need to consider:
Time Has Since Passed
Does time heal all wounds? Possibly not, but it heals some wounds. Perhaps the two of you just needed some time apart to freshen your minds, do some soul searching and discover what it is that you really want and need out of this relationship.
It could even be that time apart has matured the two of you, and settled you both down, so that you’re now ready for this relationship.
They say that we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone, and it could be that time apart has made you realise exactly what made you two so great together.
You’re Pretty Miserable
When you broke up with your partner, you probably didn’t expect to be so miserable. You thought it would be fun to star fish in your big bed on your own, but waking up alone sucks. The dark is scaring you, and you’ve got no one to have pillow talk with.
Worse still, you don’t want to get out of bed anymore. You miss him.
Post-breakup life isn’t easy for some. If it’s making you miserable, consider calling him up.
The Problem Isn’t Fatal
Sometimes, problems in a relationship can’t really be fixed. For example, if one person converts to a religion and the other just can’t bring themselves to do it, there might be too much tension to overcome in the future.
Ask yourself whether yours and your partner’s problem is fatal, or if it’s fixable.
Maybe you guys broke up because he had to move to a different city or you wanted to go back to school. At the time, these problems seemed too difficult to overcome, but it might be that you’ve since come up with a solution.
Take some time to properly analyse the situation and figure out a resolution. There is nothing worse than breaking up because of something that could be fixed.
You’re Willing To Make Compromises
When you were together, you couldn’t stand his dogs and his homemade curries. He disliked your friends and how you’d drag him out shopping. You refused to see him unless the dogs were nowhere to be seen, and he’d grump each time he was out shopping with you.
But things are different now. You’re both willing to make compromises for the sake of your relationship.
You Want The Same Things Now
A few years back, my ex and I broke up because we wanted different things. He hated the idea of settling down and having kids, and he refused to give up some of his worse bad habits. He smoked too much and I didn’t like it.
As the months went on, he actually started to cut down on his habits, realising they were no good for him. He also stopped partying altogether and decided that he wanted children after all.
Sometimes this happens. Your relationship may have ended because you both wanted different things, but as we get older we change. It may be that now you both want what each other wants.
See What Your Mom Says
Do moms know us better than we know ourselves? Very possibly. If you’re unsure of what to do, it’s a good idea to ask your mom. She will have your best interests at heart, and she’ll be able to give you some solid, parental advice.
You don’t have to act on what she says, but it’s worth knowing what she’s thinking.
The Grass Was Not Greener
At first, ending a relationship can be really liberating. You start meeting new people again, and you get back on the dating scene. It’s fun and you can’t wait to see who else is out there.
Eventually, you realise that, actually, the grass is not greener. What is out there is not what you want. Nobody can measure up to your ex and you realise that you want them back.
This happens. If you’ve been in dating limbo ever since the two of you broke up, you might want to think about returning to your partner and working on what you had. They might have their flaws, but they were the best and you know it.
You Guys Really Were The Best Together
Your friends tell you that you guys were such a cute couple.
“You were the best together. I miss our double dates!”
If you two were so compatible that you can’t imagine being with anyone else, you may want to reconsider.
You Believe In Second Chances
Maybe he did something wrong. Maybe he did something so bad that it was enough for you to end it.
But if you believe in giving people second chances, you might want to reconsider your decision. Does your partner really deserve to be cast aside like this? Or does he deserve another shot?
Maybe the experience was something you can both learn from. Maybe it was a mistake, and you can now use this opportunity to grow your relationship.
He’s Genuinely Sorry
If you broke up because of something he did, you probably spent a few days and weeks seething.
But now that the dust has settled and he’s been man enough to apologise, it might be worth hearing him out.
You need to be able to trust your partner, and him saying sorry is a major step forward. Naturally, some things are impossible to get over, but if this is a relationship that can be fixed with some talking, it’s well worth your time trying it.