Should you be friends with your ex? 10 Sensible reasons why you shouldn’t
It might seem like a good idea, but being friends with an ex rarely works. In many cases, it is actually the sign of someone who can’t quite let it go, or doesn’t have the heart to say it’s over. Here are ten very good reasons why you really shouldn’t try and be friends with your ex:
1. You won’t want to hear about it, when they move on
However tough you think you might be, you will probably always hold some feelings for your ex. As a friend, you are going to hear all about his new girlfriends and what they have been up to together, and this can be really tough.
2. It may hold you back from brand new, wonderful relationships
You could miss out on new opportunities, with new people, just because you are still friends with your ex. You might think that you are just friends, but you also might find yourself putting your ex before new boyfriends, for old time’s sake.
3. It can be an extreme torture
Being friends with your ex can lead to extrema torture, for both of you. There will be times that you just want to kiss him, or give him a big hug and you will have to hold yourself back. You will be so conscious that you can’t overstep the mark that it will actually make the friendship super difficult.
4. Your new boyfriend will never understand
Your new boyfriend will absolutely hate the idea of your seeing an ex regularly. It will inevitably cause jealousy and suspicion and, anyway, how would you feel about it, if roles were reversed?
5. You know it’s over, but does he?
While you may be clear in your mind that this is just a friendship, is he? It could just be that he can’t let go and all you are doing is making things worse for him. So, should you be friends with your ex? You decide!
6. You will have shared intimate moments that just can’t be forgotten
You can’t just blank out moments from your life and, how many of your other male friends have you seen naked and slept with? You will have shared many moments with your ex, both good and bad, and there will be times that they are remembered and they inevitably will cause tensions and jealousy.
7. It will keep you in the past
You will never be able to let the past go, because it is there, right in front of you, in your ‘friend’. It is much better to close that chapter of your life completely and then you can move on freely to the next.
8. You are probably quite likely to end up in bed tighter again
A few glasses of wine, some flirtatious comments and, before you know it, you are waking up the next morning with a whole heap of regrets. Ending up in bed again is another pitfall on the road of being friends with your ex. There is always a good chance of this happening and it could lead to many repercussions, including the ending of your new relationship.
9. Real friends can talk about anything
You should be able to talk about pretty much anything to a real friend, but with an ex, you will have to be wary about discussing some things. There will be some very awkward moments and one, or both of you, could easily become upset by what started as a completely innocent topic of conversation.
10. You can’t just switch off those feelings
The main reason why all this is so hard is that you are human. You can’t just switch off your feelings for another person and pretend that you never had them. For that to happen, you both need to be apart and that is not going to happen, if you try and be friends.
Should you be friends with your ex? Do you think it’s good to be friends with an ex?