How to stop fighting in a relationship? 10 Tips on how to stop fighting with your boo so much

Most relationships go through phases where it seems that you are fighting all the time, but if that phase seems to have been going on forever, then it’s time to do something about it. Continual fighting is hard work, it puts a strain on the relationship and, half the time, you probably don’t even know what you are fighting about! Don’t let the fighting ruin your relationship. Read these ten tips on how to stop it, now.

1. Stop talking and start listening

If you are fighting all the time, then you are probably not even listening to what your partner is saying. Sit down together and take turns to talk, one at a time, and that way you might hear, an understand, each other’s grievances better.

2. Bite your tongue – don’t shout!

This is a hard one to do, when you are angry, but the more you raise your voice, the more your partner will too. Once you are both shouting at the top of your voices you will achieve nothing but more bad feelings.

3. Think, before you say anything

Another important tip on how to stop fighting in a relationship is to pause for thought, before you say anything at all. If you don’t, you will just say the first thing that comes into your head and it could be something that you might regret later. When neither of you are thinking straight, the argument will just dissolve into an exchange of insults, which is never a pleasant thing.

4. Take a break from one another

Another tip on how to stop fighting in a relationship is to take a break from one another from time to time. Sometimes a spell apart will give you both the chance to clear your heads. Don’t do this in anger, though, agree to spend a day or weekend apart and it might help to show you both how much you’d be missing one another.

5. Ask yourself if it’s even worth arguing about

Many arguments start over the pettiest of things, so take a breather and ask if this is really worth falling out about. Is it really such an earth shattering thing that is worth risking your relationship for?

6. Stop trying to win

Next tip on how to stop fighting in a relationship is to stop trying to always be right. The best result of a fight is that there is no clear winner, because that way there is no loser either. Try and find a compromise and resist the temptation to always get in the last word.

7. Never mix fighting with alcohol

If one, or both of you, has been drinking, then that’s not the time to resolve a dispute. Even a small amount of alcohol can make you say things that you don’t mean and it will shorten your temper too.

8. Try and understand your partner’s point of view

Even if you don’t agree with your partner, you can at least try and understand their point of view. Ask them to explain why they feel the way that they do and try and talk through the issues, rationally and calmly.

9. Don’t fight over things when there is no right or wrong answer

There just can’t be a winner sometimes and nobody will be right or wrong. Arguments over taste and perceptions are completely pointless, so find a compromise instead. If he wants the bedroom red and you would prefer white, then why not settle for pink!

10. Think about what is important

For some couples, fighting can become an ingrained habit that can ultimately break the relationship. Take a moment to make a list of what is really important and, nine times out of ten, none of those things that you have been fighting about will be on that list.

Do you have some other tips on how to stop fighting in a relationship?

Stay happy!


  1. carly
    November 1, 2014 at 5:38 am

    Not to brag but I have one of the greatest men in my life, my boyfriend. Being nineteen and never been in a relationship he has taught me a great deal of relationship argument rules. One of my favorites, when I’m ranting about a petty issue he will just agree with everything I say. Then I realize that I’m wrong and end up noticing how pathetic it really was. It’s an easy way of saying babe your wrong but I’m not going to rub it in. Another wise lesson is when a family member is mad at you. Take care of the situation immediately. This keeps your family relationships in tack and no wired gatherings on the holidays! If you’ve missed an important date with any one work or whomever call and explain why so nothing is taken the wrong way. Ninety percent of the time you can make it up and or reschedule. But it’s only been nine years we’ve been together so this might not be the best of the wise advice but it’s done wonders for us this far. Hope it might help anyone who reads.
    Xoxo Carly

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