How To Make The Right Decision In Love
We all make wrong decisions in love. It’s just a part of the learning process, and life itself. When I was younger, I dated many dudes and losers who wasted my time, before I realised that I only had myself to blame.
I was making all the wrong decisions, chasing the wrong guys, saying Yes to men who didn’t share my values and wasting everybody’s time. I ended up in relationships I found hard to get out of, and I was desperately unhappy. I was the girl who was going to end up as a crazy cat lady if I wasn’t careful.
Making the right decision in love is not easy, but seeking advice on the subject is a great way to make a start. Once you make the right decisions, everything becomes simplified and meeting the man of your dreams becomes easier.
Let’s take a look at a few tips that will help you to make the right decision in love.
Think About Your Past
We’ve all made mistakes when it comes to love. But instead of looking at your previous relationship as failures because they didn’t work out, look at them as experiences from which you can learn.
If something went wrong, analyse what it was and make sure you don’t repeat that mistake.
Use your past experiences to your advantage. Let them teach you more about what you want and need from love – and what you don’t want and need.
Look At How He Is Around Other Women
How does he act when he’s around other women? Does he flirt, have a wandering eye?
If a man literally can’t keep still around other women, it could be a warning sign that dating him is not going to be the smartest decision you’ll ever make.
Don’t Jump Into Things
When I was younger, I was incredibly impulsive. I literally never thought anything through. If I guy who has half-decent looking showed an interest in me, I jumped at the chance to date him.
After a week, things turned sour when I realised we just weren’t compatible.
Why on earth did I say Yes to him?!
Like my younger self, you need to give yourself some thinking time before reaching a decision. Just because an attractive guy has shown you some interest by asking you out, it doesn’t mean he’s the One for you right now. Consider all the pros and cons, weigh up your values, and just take some time out to come to the right decision.
Raise Your Standards
Sometimes, we fall into bad relationships because we don’t love ourselves enough. Our standards are low, and as such we end up dating guys whose standards are also low – and who moreover don’t show us enough respect.
If you feel like you deserve to be swept off your feet by a Prince Charming who will treat you like a Princess, raise your standards so that are that Princess! Look after yourself, take care of your looks and set the bar high. You’re not going to settle for just anyone – you’re going to settle for the best because YOU are the best!
Spend Some Time With Him First
Some people rush into relationships. I have and you probably have, too. I remember a guy asking if we were now a couple after just THREE dates. Thrown off course, I said we were.
Then I spent some more time with him, and realised we just weren’t right.
Before making a decision about whether you guys are an item or not, spend enough time with him first. Get to know more about him. See how he is around your friends, how much respect he affords you, how often he compliments you and so on.
Make Sure Your Values And Vision For Life Match
Nothing is going to break up a relationship more than mismatching values. I’ve dated guys for whom I’ve flip-flopped between values because theirs were quite different to mine, and the truth is that it just isn’t worth it.
Dating guys who seem rebellious and daring is okay if you’re of the same nature. But if you’re the shy, pensive and wholesome type, you really should think this through.
The last thing you want is to date someone who you can’t be yourself around.
Talk To Others
I used to be really pigheaded when it came to choosing my boyfriends. I never asked for anyone else’s advice – well, not after my best friend criticised my first ever boyfriend. From that moment on, I was determined to make my own decisions regarding love.
After all, who knows what we want better than ourselves. Right ladies?
Not quite. If you want to make the absolutely right decision, it’s important that you cultivate the advice of those around you, such as your friends and family. Although it might not seem like it, they sometimes know you better than you know yourself.
And they also know who is going to be right for you.
Find Out About His Past
As well as your own past, you should also gently probe him for this past, because it will be riddled with clues that tell you whether or not he’s the One for you.
For example, he might have had an affair in the past, or maybe he’s never had a long-term relationship.
Before making a decision, it’s important that you find out more about his backstory. It will tell you a lot more about his character.
Weigh Up The Pros And Cons
When a man is dreamy (super hot), it can be so easy to focus on the pros and ignore the cons.
You need to take a balanced look at a man. Weigh up his pros and his cons. If you ignore the cons, you’re going to sleepwalk into a nightmare.
Some cons are minor and can be gotten other, but some cannot. For example, he might not want kids whereas you do. If you ignore this con for the moment because he’s “so dreamy omg I might die” it’s going to bite you in bud at a later date.
Make Sure He Doesn’t Want To Change You
You’re not You if someone comes along and wants to change you. While at first you might be okay with a guy wanting to calm you down, clean you up and stop you from going out (because, hey, you could do with quieting down, cleaning up and staying in more), eventually it could start to grind you down.