How to make a marriage last? 10 Secrets
When people get married, they assume that it will last forever, but that dream of eternal married bliss is not as easy to achieve as it might seem. Even today, in an the age when a divorce is anything but unusual and long term marriages are becoming less common, many people do still make marriage work and they make it last. If you have ever wondered how people do make their happy marriages last forever, read these ten secrets on how to make a marriage last.
1. Get difficulties out into the open
The first thing that long term couples learn is the importance of discussing differences openly. Sweeping problems under the carpet won’t make them disappear, the only way they will be resolved is through discussion and, if need be, even a fight. It’s far better to have something out in the open, than to leave it festering and growing in the dark.
2. Make the marriage itself a priority
Another secret of how to make a marriage last is that people in happy marriages place a great deal of importance on the marriage itself. They make an effort to care for the marriage, even when things get tough between the two people. They understand that there will be ups and downs in a relationship, but they want the marriage to be a constant in their lives and they fight to keep it that way.
3. Balance work, rest and play
Next tip on how to make a marriage last is to make sure to balance work, rest and play. Through the course of a marriage, there will be periods when time is limited and priorities will change. Even when time seems stretched, though, people in marriages that work make sure that they leave time for each other. Children and the pressures of work may make that difficult sometimes, but they still find an hour or two each day to spend in each other’s company and just have fun.
4. Respect one another
Mutual respect is also a key component of a long lasting relationship. Long term couples learn to respect each other as human beings, respect each other’s wishes and dreams, and respect one another simply for who they are.
5. Monitor the health of your marriage
It’s important in a marriage not to let your eye off the ball and ignore warning signs that things are not quite as they should be. So another secret of how to make a marriage last is that couples in long term marriages don’t become complacent and take the marriage for granted. They act when things are not right and they make the changes that are needed to keep the relationship strong.
6. Don’t live in each other’s pockets
Rather surprisingly, perhaps, people that have been married for a long time don’t spend every waking hour with one another. They have their own hobbies and pastimes, their own circle of friends and they are even happy to take short vacations separately. They are honest enough to accept that they can’t share everything and they trust each other enough to be parted sometimes.
7. Treat each other as equals
There is no boss in a long term marriage, just two, equal, partners. Whilst each person may have their own things that they are better at than their partner, they still never talk down to each other and they share in all the important decision making. They also respect each other’s opinions, even if they don’t always agree with them.
8. Take care of each other
In order to keep a marriage healthy, both partners need to be there for each other when the chips are down. The wedding vows of ‘for richer or poorer’ really do have to mean something, because, in real life, things do sometimes go wrong and not everything can always be perfect.
9. Focus on the positives
Another tip on how to make a marriage last is to focus on the positives. Happily married couples focus on what is good about the marriage and they don’t keep score of what goes wrong. It’s easy to find fault with a person that you have lived with for a long time, but those that stay married are the ones who keep in mind all the things that they have gained from the marriage, not the little things that they might sometimes find irritating.
10. Accept change and grow together
In a long term relationship, people have to accept change and learn to grow with it. Over time, people change, circumstances change, and that all is a part of living with the same person for a long time. If you want your marriage to last, then you will need work together to make it work. Then, you will become stronger as a team, as the world slowly changes around you.
How to make a marriage last?