10 Tips On How To Learn To Trust Again … And Why Is It So Hard To Trust For Some People
Trust is important if we’re to build relationships with people and get to where we want to be in life. But trust is sometimes hard. In this article, Beauty and Tips explores why it’s so hard to trust others for some of us, and how we can learn to overcome our fears and put our faith in other people again.
When you Google “trust,” you won’t always get the result you’re looking for straight away. There are all kinds of financial trusts, and trusts between businesses. But what about trust between humans?
Trust is a powerful word. It’s something we have to earn. Before people can trust us, we have to prove that we’re trustworthy.
But what if, no matter how hard a person has worked to gain your trust, you still can’t bring yourself to trust them?
Trust is essential if we’re to enjoy the success we desire. Without trust, there is only negativity in the form of paranoia, arguments and inevitable disaster. There is jealousy and bitterness. Divisions are created, with people asking us “Don’t you trust me? I can’t believe you don’t trust me!” Without trust, there is no intimacy and therefore no relationship.
Things are wrecked by a lack of trust. But you might argue that you can’t trust other people because your trust in the human race has already been wrecked. And you certainly won’t be cajoled into trusting someone simply because they childishly throw their toys out of their pram.
“Fine! You don’t trust me! Be that way.”
Indeed, there are a few reasons why it can be hard for us to trust others again. Lots of people have trust issues, and it’s always because of something that has happened in the past.
Trust balances on a very thin foundation. Anything can cause the foundation to crumble and break. It’s easily broken. Perhaps a friend you trusted so much shared a secret of yours with other people. Perhaps your lover betrayed you with another.
Or maybe your issues go way back to childhood, to teachers whom you couldn’t trust. You confided in them and they let you down.
It’s hard to take when the people we looked up to the most broke their promise and did something we pleaded with them not to do. It can be hard to recover.
However, as you well know, trust is fundamental in your life. Let’s take a look at 10 tips on how to learn to trust again.
Talk About What Happened For Closure
Unfortunately, betrayal happens in life. It’s sad, but true. It’s important that you speak about what happened with the other person, and speak honestly.
A lot of the time, we can’t move on and trust others until we find out exactly why our trust was broken in the past. It’s called closure, and without it it’s hard to forget what happened.
Quit Blaming Yourself
This is another good tip on how to learn to trust again. You might argue that you’re not blaming yourself for what someone did to you in the past. But take a moment right now to reflect on where you’re pinning the blame for what happened.
Is it all on the other person? Or is some of it on you?
Is most of it on you?
Perhaps it was your fault for letting them get to close to you. Perhaps it was your fault for being too open and trusting them too much.
You’ll make that mistake again!
Stop. It wasn’t your fault for being so open and trustworthy. This is not your fault. We all make choices. They made the choice to betray your trust. You mustn’t let this prevent you from letting other people into your life.
Be More Assertive
Next tip on how to learn to trust again is to try and be a little bit more assertive. Perhaps people hurt you in the past because they saw you as a pushover. That’s still no excuse. But to prevent this from happening again, learn how to be more assertive with people. Let them know that you don’t suffer fools easily.
Forgive – But Not So Easily
Forgiveness is one of the best tips on how to learn to trust again. We’re all told to forgive and forget as quickly as possible. But grief and anger is an essential part of the recovery process.
You need to let these emotions bleed out first. Don’t suppress them simply so that you feel better as quickly as possible. Live with them, but always be prepared to forgive when the time is right.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean the other person gets off the hook. It means you get the chance to let go of negative energy.
Accept That We All Make Mistakes
Hey, you know what? We all make mistakes.
Some of us make bigger mistakes than others. But we’re all human beings trying to make sense of this world and our position in it.
Remembering that people make mistakes and learn from them can help you to trust others again.
Acknowledge Your Own Faults
You didn’t cause the other person to betray you. But it’s important to remember that you’re not perfect. Acknowledge your own faults and learn how you can become a better person out of this.
Stop Letting Your Past Prejudice Your Thoughts
Let’s say you’ve got a new person in your life. They’re amazing. You know they’re amazing. You really like them!
And they seem like the kind of person you could really trust and fall in love with, too.
But you’ve got a hangup. No matter how great they seem, you just can’t stop thinking about your past. You know that people are capable of hurting you, so what makes this person any different?
As a result, you erect barriers and keep them out.
Forget your past and confront the reality, it’s one of the most useful tips on how to learn to trust again.
What’s the reality? They’re an amazing person!
Dissect What Happened
On the surface of things, another person betrayed your trust and it’s caused you to lose faith in people. You’ve closed up.
But what’s below the surface? Have you taken the time to figure out why the person acted the way they did?
When you find answers, you may find solutions to your own issues. Perhaps there are things you can learn from what happened so that it doesn’t happen again.
Another tip on how to learn to trust again is to simply set some clear rules. People have crossed a line in the past. From now on, set some ground rules so that people know exactly what you won’t tolerate.
Forget What Happened
This may seem to simplistic for you right now. But the easiest way to move on and trust people again is to just forget what happened in the past.
Accept what happened and then kick it out of your memory.
Can you erase it? Or are you refusing to?
Why would you want to keep a memory that makes you feel bad?
Do you have other tips on how to learn to trust again?