How To Drastically Improve Communication And Connection With Your Husband?
When the thrill of the early days of a relationship is over, romance can either get stronger and even more exciting, or it can start to fizzle out.
And when romance begins to fizzle out, our communication and connection with our husband begins to suffer as a consequence. We no longer talk to him as much as we used to, and it seems that both of us are having a problem discussing our feelings.
And each time we do bring up our feelings, he changes the subject. Or we start to argue. So what’s happened?
There are lots of reasons why the connection becomes disrupted and our communication changes. Despite all the possible explanations, it’s always incredibly frustrating. If you’re in a situation right now where you need to strengthen your relationship, here are a few ways to improve the communication and connection with your husband.
Start With Small Talk
Especially when you guys first started dating, you probably thought that small talk was vacuous and signalled a lack of basic connection. If small talk was all you had, how were you going to last?
Contrary to this widely held belief, small talk is actually really healthy for any relationship. According to research, it’s the mundane moments that can actually have a bigger impact on the overall health and wellbeing of our relationship.
Small talk is a way of getting closer to your partner without delving into the really deep stuff. Small talk lets your partner know that you’re interested in them, and want to share everything with them.
Listen Properly To Them
If we don’t feel that we’re being listened to by our partner, it can be really hard to connect with them. If your husband is talking to you about this or that but you’re “miles away”, it’s hardly going to convince him to keep trying to connect with you.
When your husband talks, it’s important that you give him your full attention. Put down your phone, stop typing on your laptop, and actually listen carefully to what he has to say.
And when he’s finished talking, follow up with a question. It shows that you’re interested.
Talk About The Big Issues In Person
If you’ve got something big to discuss with your husband, it’s super important that you wait until you can see him in person before talking about it.
It’s really easy and convenient to discuss things via text or email, but it’s also really unhealthy and can lead to crossed wires and misunderstandings.
Moreover, you might get really frustrated when he takes ages to reply!
Miscommunication is far less likely to happen if you talk about the important stuff in person. It prevents things from getting lost in translation, and ensures that you’re both singing from the same hymn sheet.
Say What’s On Your Mind
Some people have a tendency to walk around on tiptoes in their relationships because they don’t want to upset their partner by disclosing what’s really on their mind. But failure to communicate your true feelings just means that they are festering in your mind. Eventually, they might all come out at once, which could be really harmful.
Honesty isn’t always easy to hear, but a relationship can’t grow properly without it. If you hold things back, your growth as a couple will be stunted. For a relationship to be as healthy as possible, speak to your partner about what’s on your mind.
Do you communicate with your partner via touch? Perhaps now it’s time to start doing so.
Good communication doesn’t always have to be a deep, meaningful conversation. It could instead be a playful touch, a sweet smile or a telling glance. These are simple actions that are loaded with positive meanings.
You could work up to kissing and hugging. Remember, you don’t always have to speak for a stronger connection.
Use The Sandwich Method
What is the sandwich method? The sandwich method is where you tell your husband something which he may find difficult to hear, but relieve the sting by sandwiching it in-between positive statements.
For example, you could tell your husband that you love him and care for him, but that you’re finding such and such a thing hard to deal with. Then, tell him that you love him again.
Does it work all the time? Most of the time, it does. It’s certainly a great way of softening the blow and taking out some of the pressure.
Time It Well
There is something on your chest that you really want to get off. You want to tell your husband about it right this minute, but he’s just returned home from a bad day at work and he’s not in a good mood. He’s hungry, tired and upset.
Do you press ahead and air out your feelings? Or do you wait for the right moment?
You should always wait. Raise important conversations at the right moments.
Start Saying “I”
When we argue with our husband, we commonly attack him with a volley of “you” statements.
For example, you might say “You never help me out!”
For better communication and connection, it’s a good idea to switch the focus to you. For example, you could say “I get upset because you don’t help me out.”
This statement is less accusatory, and it’s opening up the possibility of a proper, rational conversation.
Relationships that are swamped in negativity don’t usually the last course. If all you talk about are your problems, he will start to tune out – and vice versa.
Instead of focusing on negative things all the time and gossiping about this and that, raise positive subjects. Talk about how well your day went, how glad you are that he’s in your life, and how awesome the future is going to be.
If you’re a positive person, he will be positive too. Your relationship will get stronger, and you’ll be more willing to listen to each other.