How To Heal From A Painful Heartbreak?
Heartbreak can cause more emotional pain than mostly anything else. Sometimes, it can even cause tremendous physical pain, too. In this article, we take a look at how you can mend a broken heart.
Anyone who falls in love knows they’re putting themselves at the risk of heartbreak. But anyone who’s fallen in love will tell you that the risk is worth it, even if heartbreak can be unbearable. In the event that you do get cut, finding ways of reducing your suffering is key. Otherwise, heartbreak can have a hugely detrimental effect on many other areas of your life.
It’s not nice when relationships come to an end, especially when we didn’t see the end coming. You feel lost, abandoned, hopeless and bereft of where to go next. Time is a great healer, and heartbreak will eventually go away on its own, just like a wound needs time to heal. But if you want to speed up the healing process, here is how to recover from a broken heart:
Don’t Fight The Pain
Mindfulness is all about accepting that things happen – good things and bad things. It’s also about accepting that bad thoughts happen, too. But instead of fighting the bad stuff, mindfulness teaches us that we must accept it and ride with it.
Suffering is inevitable when a relationship comes to an end. It’s important that you accept this, and understand that grief is a natural part of the healing process. If we fight it or try to skip it, it will come back to bite us later on – with a vengeance.
Don’t bottle your feelings up and put them away. Live with them a while. Let them come, let them hang around for a bit, and then let them live. Don’t spend your time telling people that you’re “fine” when you’re not. Admit that you aren’t doing okay, and that you just need some time to deal with this.
Change Your Routine
Did you and your partner have a routine that you shared while you were together? And do you still indulge in this routine? If you do, changing it will help you to get over heartbreak faster.
When we still do the things we did with our partner, and when we still have the same habits, we find that we’re surrounded by constant reminders of them. We go to the store each Friday to do our shopping just like we did with them, and we stick to the same route around the store, starting with the fruit section and ending at the candy section.
All of these kinds of things are triggers that will make you upset. Now that you two have split, it’s a good idea to refresh your routine. Introduce a bit of change. Do things differently. If movie night was aways Fridays, go out on Friday nights instead and catch a movie some other time.
Take The Positives
We know that it’s hard right now to take the positives from the situation, and you might even argue that there are no positives.
Where are the positives from a broken heart that’s been torn out and left on the floor in pieces?
When you look at it that way, there aren’t any positives. But our reality is created by our interpretations and perceptions. By choosing to take positives out of any situation, we can change our reality and how we feel.
There will be positives to take from what’s happened to you. You might need to do a bit of digging, and you might need to summon a lot of energy to do this in order to find them. But maybe the relationship has taught you a lot about yourself. Maybe it’s also taught you what not to do in your next relationship. Maybe you also learned a lot from the other person. Maybe they pushed you to leave your comfort zone.
You’re probably a totally different person now than you were before the relationship began – a better person. And this in itself is a positive.
Detach Yourself From The Other Person
We’ve seen people who, after three years since their relationship, have still not managed to move on. Why? Because they aren’t allowing themselves to. They still have the other persons number in their phone, still have them on Facebook – and they also refuse to date anyone else.
All this is doing is punishing ourselves and condemning us to a life of self-pity, want and loneliness. Worse still, we’re preventing ourselves from being happy. We’re missing out.
It’s not easy to get over someone we loved, but for closure it’s really important that you detach yourself from them. Delete their number from their phone so that you can’t text them every few months to tell them you miss them. Delete them from Facebook too, and most importantly – allow yourself to meet new people.
Don’t Feel Guilt
One of the worst things about heartbreak is the guilt that comes with it. We start to pin the blame on ourselves for the relationship coming to an end, and it’s a killer.
Once you start doing this, the pain gets worse and worse. You’re no longer dealing with your own heartbreak, but you’re also shouldering the other persons pain because – according to you – you caused all this.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. Accept that you made mistakes, and that the other person did, too. Apologise. And then move on.
If you hold onto that guilt, it really will eat you alive.
Be Happy For Them And Wish Them The Best
Lastly, although we know this one can be difficult at first, it really is for the best. Instead of harbouring feelings of bitterness and regret, be mature about all this and wish your ex-partner all the luck in the world. We happy for them, and be pleased when they move on with their life.
What you need right now is positive energy and lots of it. So don’t wish strife on your ex-partner. Don’t hope that they’re still missing you and that it’s killing them. Wish them happiness. Once you do this, the positivity will spill into your own life and you’ll eventually find happiness, too.