How to have a successful marriage? Recipe for a happy marriage

Take one adult male and blend together thoroughly with one female adult, in a home, then add children to taste and throw in several handfuls of whatever else life throws at you and you have a marriage! It should be a pretty straightforward recipe really, but like all good recipes, it’s the finer touches that really make the dish a success, so here are some of the other ingredients that you can add to the recipe for a happy marriage:

1. Love

The number one ingredient for a successful marriage has to be love. Or does it? Sadly, there are many loveless marriages where people stay together for the sake of the children, for convenience or just because of plain old lethargy. You might argue that it is still a successful marriage, but you couldn’t possibly argue that it is a happy marriage. Even though the type of love may change, as the relationship matures, we’re still keeping love in the number one spot.

2. Respect

Respect must be a key ingredient in a marriage. It is the respect of one another as individuals, respect of the partnership as a whole and even respect for the marriage vows. Respect comes in many forms, but even after years of marriage, you still need to respect your partner as a fellow human being.

3. Honesty

Another one of the most vital ingredients is honesty. As we’re talking recipes here, honesty is important to a marriage as apples are to apple pie! In a happy marriage there are no secrets at all, why should there be?

4. Compassion

Compassion is being able to care for a person when there is nothing in it for you. Compassion is the elderly man who looks after his wife, even though she can’t remember who he is, because of dementia. Compassion, in essence, is the vow to stay together, for better or for worse.

5. Stamina and determination

With nearly half of all marriages failing, you can see that this is an ingredient that is missing from many marriages. Marriage isn’t all plain sailing and sometimes it is really rough going, but happy marriages are built on a determination to make things work and keep on going.

6. Fidelity

How to have a successful marriage? Remember about honesty and fidelity! Some people seem to be able to forgive cheating, but do they really forget? Happy marriages are built on the solid foundation of two people being faithful to one another; that comes with the deal.

7. Fight fair

Arguments will happen and sometimes they will be serious. But you should always fight fair and never descend to the level of personal insults. There should be rules in place for fighting like never go to bed on an argument, stay on the topic, talk things through to a conclusion and a really good one to follow is never argue standing up. If you argue standing up, you are more likely to get angry, wave your arms about and even storm off. So sit down and talk it through instead.

8. Have realistic expectations

Another good tip on how to have a successful marriage is to set realistic expectations for your relationship and you won’t be disappointed. It probably won’t be perfect every day and nor are you and your partner perfect either. Life is rarely as sweet, as it is in the movies and even the happiest couples can have some discussions and arguments, and they do have some bad days too.

9. Value your partner and show them that you care

People never tire of being thanked and being loved, it’s just that people forget to say ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’. Complacency is one of the biggest enemies of a marriage, so don’t assume that your partner knows you love them, tell them you do.

10. Talk to each other

Taking time to talk to each other regularly is another good tip on how to have a successful marriage. No team can operate successfully if one member of the team doesn’t know what the other one is thinking or doing. Communication in a marriage means that you talk about everything from how you are feeling about something to how much money is the bank.

How to have a successful marriage? Do you have some other tips?

Stay happy!

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