How to have a good relationship with your boyfriend?
Peace, love and harmony are key elements that sustain our world. Without these, there would be chaos, hate and conflict in abundance.
It’s super important that your relationships in life are harmonious. This includes your relationships with your mom, your dad, your siblings, your friends – and especially your boyfriend.
Your boyfriend should also be your best friend. He should be someone you can depend on, talk to, turn to, and lean on. When a relationship is not going so well, it can get us down. It can make us feel like nothing is worth it.
Nothing is perfect all the time. A great relationship with your boyfriend takes effort. There will be mistakes made, and bad judgement calls. Nothing is handed to you on a plate. If you’re looking to improve your relationship, let’s take a look at a few top tips on how to have a good relationship with your boyfriend.
Talk About Your Relationship Goals
If your relationship has hit a rocky road recently, why don’t you talk to him about your relationship goals? What do you both want out of this relationship? Where do you see it going?
This is a chance for you to iron out your differences and get things off your chest. Perhaps you don’t like the amount of time he spends on his PlayStation, and perhaps he doesn’t like it when you drag him out shopping on a Saturday. Make sure you’re both heading in the same direction.
Give Him The Benefit Of The Doubt
Particularly when we’re low on self-esteem, it’s very easy to wrongly assume that our boyfriend is out to get us. When he didn’t invite us out with his friends, we assume he deliberately meant to hurt us. When he has a beer after work with his buddies, we assume it’s because he can’t stand the thought of spending some more time with us.
You need to give him the benefit of the doubt. People make bad calls now and then, not out of spite or malice, but simply because they didn’t take into consideration your feelings. They didn’t realise how hurt you’d get over something they felt was minor or trivial. When we’re feeling low, it’s so easy to balloon trivial acts, such as our boyfriend hanging out with his mates instead of us.
Bring Compassion Into Your Conflicts
Sometimes when we argue with our boyfriend, it’s all too easy to start shouting and cursing. We raise our voice, and they do the same. Within less than a minute, we’ve entered World War III, and neither of us are listening to reason. We’re expressing our views loudly, and they’re doing the same. We’re both too stubborn to reach a compromise.
The next time you and your boyfriend fight, you should approach the argument with compassion, understanding, reason, and clearness. Expressing your views gently and clearly will encourage him to do the same. It will encourage understanding from both of you regarding where you’re each coming from. It will help you to reach some middle ground.
Be Generally More Affectionate
Another good tip on how to have a good relationship with your boyfriend is to show your care and affection. Great relationships thrive on affection. If you’ve been a little bit cold and distant recently, you should try treating your boy to some much-needed affection. Hold hands, hug him, kiss him.
Take A Few Minutes Out
When we’re emotional, we sometimes flip out. Whenever we feel angry, hurt, or frustrated, we react, and do something that we late regret. Perhaps we swear at out boyfriend, accuse him of something, or threaten to leave him.
Reacting to our emotions like this is not good for a relationship. These are knee-jerk reactions that, when viewed hours later, become apparent for what they really are; irrational ways of dealing with emotions.
Whenever you feel a strong emotion, you should take a few minutes out. Reason with yourself and analyse what it is that is making you feel this way. Minimise the negative energy by processing your feelings. In this way, you might discover an underlying emotion that is causing you to flip out at the smallest of things. Perhaps it is this deeper emotion that you need to discuss with your man.
Lend Him Your Ear
Next good tip on how to have a good relationship with your boyfriend is to be a good listener. Sometimes, we just don’t listen to him often enough. We might think that we do, but we really don’t.
Consider the amount of times he’s been speaking while you’ve been playing on your phone, playing with your hair, or snacking on some sweets. You’re not actively listening to him; you can hear noise, and some of it is getting through to you, but a lot of it is not.
Moreover, when he’s talking to you and you’re doing something else at the same time, it doesn’t look good. It tells him that you’re not giving him your undivided attention, which is something he wants.
Accept His Apology
After you’ve had a fight, it simply isn’t good enough to tell him that you don’t care for his apology. You don’t care that now – finally – he’s said that he’s sorry.
You need to change your attitude. If he apologises, you should accept it. Don’t rebuff him.
Laugh With Him!
The secret ingredient of any relationship is laughter.
Think about it: A relationship without laughter is a morose relationship. It’s a relationship permeated by sour glances, scathing remarks, retorts, arguments and laments. It’s funereal.
Laughing together brings a smile to both your faces and reminds you why you got together in the first place. It’s infectious and is a surefire way to lift both your spirits and make you feel good again.
Hold His Hand In Public
Holding hands when you go for a walk is a symbol that your relationship is strong. It shows that you are working together against everything else, and that you are ready to tackle whatever challenges come your way as a pair. You are bounded together and will the rough with the smooth.
Holding hands is also sweet and affectionate. Do it.
See A Relationship Coach
Lastly, although you might not feel as though you really need to see a relationship coach, this could be a great thing for your relationship. Just seeing someone once a year can help to give you some fantastic ideas that can put the missing pieces together and keep your relationship nice and healthy.