How to gain exclusivity with a guy?

Have you been dating a guy for a while, but still don’t know quite where you stand? Have you met Mr Right and are ready to make this a serious relationship? It’s not unusual for it to be the woman in a relationship who is the first one who is ready to make a commitment and wants to make it exclusive. Men might need a little bit more time and might need some prompting, before they get there. If you want the relationship to really mean something, though, you don’t want to resort to underhand tricks to make him commit. Here are ten ways that you can nudge your guy into making a decision about exclusivity, without you needing to manipulate him.

1. Don’t try too hard

Men can be really stubborn sometimes and, if you try and force them to do anything, they are quite likely to do just the opposite. If he feels like you are rushing him into making a commitment, he is likely to back off fast, so give him the space to make up his own mind and his commitment will be far more meaningful to both of you.

2. Carry on being friends with other guys

The decision to make the relationship exclusive should be a mutual one, so there is no need for you to stop being friends with other guys yet. In fact, it will take the pressure off both of you and, eventually, if it’s what you both want, you will both realise it together. If he really does love you enough, he will not want to take the risk of you committing to another man you might be seeing, while he is still hesitating with his own decision.

3. Get to know his family

If things are going to get more serious, then you will both have to meet each other’s family. Introduce him to your family and then see if he returns the gesture. Family approval, whilst not essential, is important for most people, so getting to know his family would be step closer to a commitment.

4. Don’t be over eager to please

If he is not making you his priority, then perhaps you need to do the same. Don’t always be available, the moment he asks you on a date, and you will remind him that you too still have choices. By not being over eager to please him, you might just make him realise that it’s time that he made the move towards an exclusive relationship.

5. Tell him what you want

If you want to have a long term relationship, then tell him! You don’t need to make it a difficult conversation and try and force him into making a decision there and then, but you should at least tell him where you would like the relationship to lead.

6. Tell him how you feel

You must also tell him how you feel about exclusivity. If you are really uncomfortable about casual, open relationships, then you shouldn’t put up with it simply to try and keep the one guy. You can’t be exclusive without committing to marriage or a long term future together. If that’s the way that you feel about all relationships, then you should tell him that too. You can’t stick with a guy if you are unhappy and just hope that one day he will come around to your way of thinking.

7. Show your vulnerable side

If you want a man to commit to you, then you are asking him to expose his vulnerable side and open up to you wholeheartedly.  You can help him to do that by showing him that you need support sometimes too. Sharing your dreams and your fears with him will demonstrate how much you trust him and it will encourage him to do the same with you.

8. Don’t obsess over labels

Don’t worry too much about labels like girlfriend, partner, or any other such name. What really counts is the commitment that he makes, not the name that he uses to introduce you to people. He may not be ready to be called someone’s partner just yet, but he might be happy committing to an exclusive relationship with you.

9. Let him be true to himself

The best way to get a man to commit is to let him know that he can be himself when he is around you. Accept him for who he is and let him now that you are comfortable with that person. He won’t want to commit to an exclusive relationship with someone he thinks he has to put on an act for.

10. Let it go if it’s not going to happen

If he doesn’t want to commit to a long term, exclusive relationship, and you do, then you might just have to walk away. You can’t force him to make that commitment and, if you did, he wouldn’t be happy anyway. You will be happier too, if you wait for a man who truly wants to be committed to you.

Stay happy!

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