How to turn jealousy into something positive?
Jealousy isn’t something that only occurs when you are in a relationship; you can also become jealous of co-worker, jealous of a friend, or jealous of a sibling. Whatever the circumstances of jealousy, it is usually a destructive emotion that can only lead to your being unhappy. If you are honest with yourself and you recognise that fact that you are jealous, there are things that you can do to stop that jealousy getting out of control and stop it consuming your life. With a bit of effort and some soul searching, you can stop jealousy having a negative impact on your life. Here are ten ways that you can turn jealousy around and make it a positive emotion.
1. Let it be your motivation
Anyone can look at a beautiful car and wish that they had one of their own, but when someone looks at the car and thinks that it’s not fair that the other person owns that car, that is negative jealousy. Quite simply, rather than resent the other person for what they have, congratulate them on their good fortune, and then work hard to get a better car than they have!
2. Let jealousy show the way to get the things that you want
You might be jealous that a friend seems to be more popular than you are and you could just sit there fuming about it and resenting her for it. On the other hand, you could take something positive from the emotion and try and work out what it is she is doing differently from you to make her so popular. It’s never a good idea to simply emulate someone else, but we can sometimes learn things about ourselves by looking at other people.
3. Don’t make assumptions
Jealousy is often based on false assumptions, because you are probably thinking the worst. This is especially the case with jealousy in a relationship, where perhaps you assume that your partner is cheating, just because they have been talking to another girl. Don’t always assume that you are right because there could be many reasons why your partner has been talking to another woman. And, that car we mentioned before? How do you know that the person can’t afford the lease payments on it and it’s about to be repossessed?
4. Show people that you are the bigger person
Jealousy will also make you look rather foolish, if you let it. Don’t sulk like a petulant child, because your friend got better grades in an exam than you did, go over and be the first to congratulate them. People will respect you far more for being mature about it.
5. Don’t forget about the things that you do have
If jealousy gets out of hand, then you can find yourself thinking only of those things that the other person has and that you don’t. Look for the positives too. You might be jealous that someone at work got promoted, but completely ignore the fact that you love the job you are doing right now and you didn’t really want that other job anyway.
6. Have more faith in other people and in yourself
Especially in relationships, jealousy is often borne out of a lack of faith, or trust, both in yourself and in other people. Once you have recognised that you are feeling jealous, use that feeling to create more faith in people. When you find out that your partner hasn’t been cheating at all, learn from that and learn to trust him more. When you retake that exam that your friend passed before you did, and then you get a better grade than her, learn from that one too.
7. Don’t judge people based on past experiences
Jealousy can also teach you not to assume that people are all the same. Just because one boyfriend let you down in the past, that doesn’t mean that every man will cheat on you. Try to understand why you feel jealous and you will be able to put a stop to those feelings.
8. Stop comparing yourself to other people
The world is made up of many different kinds of people; each with their own skills, and their own faults, so making direct comparisons between yourself and other people is pointless. You are not inferior to anyone else, just different, so you have nothing at all to be jealous about. Let your jealousy be proof to you that you are unique and special and that will turn jealousy into a positive thing.
9. Ignore it
Accept that you feel jealous and then just ignore it. Let your partner go out with his friends, male or female, and after a while you will learn to trust him. Jealousy eats you up, only if you keep thinking about it, so try and be stronger and put it to the back of your mind.
10. Make yourself the priority
Everyone gets a bit envious of other people sometimes, but if you turn that around and let it motivate you to get the things that you want out of life, then you will have succeeded in making jealousy a positive emotion. What other people have, or are doing, should not be your priority, you should be. Make your own happiness your priority and don’t let jealousy ruin it for you.
How to deal with jealousy? What are your best tips?