How to Deal with Anxiety about New Relationship?
When you first start out on a new relationship, you are bound to feel a little bit anxious about it. You want it to go right and you will probably feel a little bit unsure of your new partner. All of that is perfectly natural when you start to get close someone new, but sometimes, that natural nervousness can get a bit out of hand. If you feel that your nervousness about your new relationship could get the better of you and it is starting to affect the relationship itself, read these ten sound tips that will help you deal with your anxiety about a new relationship.
1. Accept that what you are feeling is normal
The first thing to do is to accept that your nervousness is nothing unusual. A certain amount of anxiety when you first start dating someone new is perfectly natural. You are not weird, you are not overreacting and you are not a worrier; you are just being you. If you don’t stop worrying about your anxiety, though, you will just make yourself anxious about being anxious!
2. Stop comparing this relationship to past relationships
A lot of people who feel anxious about a new relationship do so because they are making comparisons to past relationships. Perhaps you were treated badly before and you think that will happen again or perhaps you think that it was your fault that your last relationship ended. The truth is that no two relationships are ever the same, so making comparisons is a pointless exercise. This is a new start with a brand new partner, so give the relationship a chance before you assume that this one will end the same way as the last.
3. Stop trying to read his mind
Stop trying to read his mind and to unpick every sentence he utters, because assuming that you know what he is thinking is the surest way to anxiety. You can’t possibly know what is going on in another person’s mind so there is no point at all getting stressed out about it. He’s probably trying his best to work out what you are thinking as well, so just enjoy the discovery part of the new relationship while it lasts.
4. Face up to your fear rejection
Underlying most people’s anxiety in a new relationship is a simple fear of rejection. Everyone wants to be liked and no one likes being rejected, but sometimes, it’s just something that we all have to learn to accept. If you’re not going to be compatible in the long run, it is far better to find out sooner rather than later. If you understand that it is your fear of rejection that is making you feel anxious, you will be in a better position to be able to control that fear.
5. Accept that you can’t control a relationship
When you are in any relationship you have to, to some extent, accept that you cannot control it. You can’t make someone love you, no matter how hard you try. Of course, you will want to do your best to make sure that things do work out, but you can’t force it to. If you accept that you can’t control the other person and you can’t guarantee that a relationship will work, it is very likely that you will stop worrying about it quite so much.
6. Practice mindfulness
If you try to concentrate more on what is happening now, rather than worrying so much about what may happen, you will be able to push your fear to the back of your mind and enjoy the relationship for what it is. It’s not always easy to do, but if you can keep your mind in the present, you will be able to crowd out all those negative thoughts you have been having.
7. Question the fear
A lot of the anxiety over a new relationship comes from the not knowing and, from what you don’t know; you start to assume the worst. If you question those assumptions that making you are anxious, you will probably no doubt find that there is no solid evidence to back them up. Understand that the early days of a relationship is a period of uncertainty and most, if not all, of your fears will eventually be proven to be unfounded.
8. Talk to your friends
You don’t have to face this alone, so share your feelings with close friends and get some advice. Just talking about it will help you understand that everyone feels some anxiety over a new relationship and that will help you cope with your feelings.
9. Don’t do anything rash
Whatever you do, don’t let your anxiety take control of the relationship. If you are feeling insecure, you might be tempted to become too clingy, make accusations, or even end the relationship before you have given it a chance to succeed. Stick with it and ride out the storm. Good relationships don’t happen overnight, they develop over time.
10. Focus on what’s good about the relationship
Don’t lose sight of the fact that a relationship is supposed to fun. It won’t be perfect all the time, but when it is going well, don’t let those good times get buried by your anxious thoughts. You should never settle for someone that isn’t treating you right, but if your fears are just in your own mind, don’t let them ruin what could be a wonderful relationship.