How To Create A List Of Qualities For Your Perfect Partner?

People will tell you that defining your ideal man limits your choices. After all, if you’ve got a concrete vision of what you want your Prince Charming to look like, you’re probably going to avoid lots of suitors who fall short of the mark.

But who wants to carry on kissing frogs anyway?

Far from narrowing your options so that you remain on the shelf for ever, creating a list of qualities that you want your perfect partner to have ensures that – at last – you know exactly the kind of man you want to date. This means that instead of saying “Yes” to Clive from human resources because he deserves a chance, you can start saying “Oh, No!” because you know exactly what you want – and what you don’t want.

But how do you go about creating a list of qualities for your perfect partner? What exactly should go on there? Let’s take a look!

His Belief Systems

It’s really important that your partner shares the same beliefs and sense of values as you. If he doesn’t, you’re going to disagree on all the big things.

Having small things in common is one thing. For example, maybe you both like reading.

But having different tastes in things is also totally okay. Maybe while he’s out watching the NBA, you’re busy at home making crafty things.

But it’s absolutely vital that your beliefs match up. If they don’t, he might want to raise your kids as atheists, while you might want them to grow up believing in God.

He Should Be Attractive

People say that looks shouldn’t matter all that much – but they’re totally wrong.

You need to find your partner physically attractive. Otherwise, the relationship just isn’t going to work out in the long run.

Sure, there are lots of reasons why we get into relationships besides attractiveness, but it’s still one of the most important factors.

He doesn’t need to be a Brad Pitt lookalike, and he doesn’t need to be attractive to anyone else – it’s just vital that he’s attractive to YOU.

He Should Have A Fresh Perspective

My grandparents grew up next door to each other when they were children. They lived through the second world war together, went to the same school, and even worked at the same office.

They eventually fell in love and got married.

It’s easy to assume that, because of their similar backgrounds, they had the same perspective on life.

They didn’t. My grandmother admitted she was an eternal pessimist while my grandfather was a happy optimist. Indeed, his fresh perspective on life that was so different to hers was one of the things that attracted her to him.

You should be open to meeting someone who can open you up to a new reality and a new way of living.

He Needs To Love Your Flaws

We all have flaws and imperfections. Nobody is perfect. But loving someone because they’re 100% perfect is not what love is all about.

I’ve certainly dated my fair share of losers who couldn’t deal with my imperfections. When I was a teenager I wore braces and had a nasty skin condition that erupted whenever I was anxious. It put some boys off.

You need to make sure that the next man you meet warms to your imperfections, embraces them and loves you all the more because of them.

He Is Willing To Compromise

I’ve dated guys who don’t know how to compromise. If there is a big football game on at the weekend, there is no way they are going to drop their plans and miss the big game.

“Well, we’ll just have to rearrange the wedding date!” they’ll say with a big foam finger pointed at us.

Your next man must be willing to make compromises. A selfish guy is only going to bring you down whenever you want him to do something you want to do this weekend.

Visualise Your Future

One of the reasons we find it hard to meet our perfect partner is that we just don’t know what we want from out future. We don’t know what it looks like.

Try to visualise your future with your man. Will there be children? If so, how many?

How will your weekends be spent? At home, at the football, in the markets or galleries?

Will there be regular vacations? Will you both work full-time?

Will you both be spontaneous and head out travelling often?

He Should Be Mature

It’s easy for a guy to say that he’s mature because he doesn’t act like a kid anymore. But being mature is about so much more than that.

Being mature as an adult is about making dinner for your wife when she’s late home.

It’s about tending to her with love and kindness when she’s ill.

It’s about paying the bills on time and managing the household budget.

It’s about being punctual and respectful.

He Is Honest

The last thing you want is to date a man who is distrustful and evasive. Trust and honesty should be the foundation of all relationships if you want it to be strong and healthy.

White lies are one thing, but if a man is unable to go a day without being truthful to the people in his life – even if it’s his boss and not you – it gives an indication that there is no long term, stable future here.

He’s Positive

I’ve dated Mr Negative. I loved him, but eventually I had to get out because his doom and gloom was killing me inside.

Negative people make you feel negative, and they can make you feel bad not just about yourself but about life in general.

A perfect partner must be positive and enthusiastic about life. If things go wrong in the life you are sharing together, they will be in a stronger position to find a resolution.

How do you want to feel next to your perfect partner?

This is another important question that will help you understand what you are looking for in a partner.

How do you see your relationship with your perfect partner? How do you imagine yourself feeling next to him? Answering some of such questions can be a real game changer and it can reveal you a lot about your own expectations, desires and dreams.


Stay happy, love and be loved!

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