10 Tips on how to communicate with a man more effectively
While equality between the sexes is certainly increasing in power these days, there is still no doubt that men are, and probably always will be, very different creatures from women. For some people, that can make communicating with men, both in the workplace and in a social setting, a little daunting. Underneath it all, we are all pretty much the same, but finding common ground with some men can be a bit difficult. If you find yourself getting tongue tied when you need to talk a man, here are ten useful tips on how to communicate with a man more effectively.
1. Be direct
Some men can be a bit blunt and to the point when they talk, but don’t take that the wrong way. They are not being rude or impatient, it’s just that a lot of men don’t like beating around the bush. They just like to get right down to the facts. If you have something to say to a man, or you want something from a man, don’t hedge around the topic trying to be too polite, get straight to the point and make yourself clear.
2. Don’t take things too personally
A lot of men can also be very clumsy in the words they use and, sometimes, they are not sure how to talk to women either. We are sure that many of you will have heard a man say “Sorry, I don’t mean it to come out that way”. They can be a bit tactless at times, but don’t take it personally, because it is unlikely that what they said was meant to hurt or offend you.
3. Look for common ground
This may sound a bit sexist, but most men aren’t into flower arranging and embroidery any more than most women aren’t even vaguely interested in how much torque a Ford Mustang delivers. Unless you know for sure that a man is interested in a particular topic you will better off sticking to neutral topics that you know everyone has an interest in, such as current affairs, holidays, food and entertainment.
4. Don’t be afraid to be assertive
If you are in a group situation with men, you don’t need an invite to join in the conversation. Men have a respect for self-confidence in a person and, in a social setting they find confident women very attractive. Pipe up and have your say, because your opinion is no less valuable than a man’s. If you do stay quiet in a group situation with men, they are quite likely to just carry on without you, so you have to make yourself be heard.
5. Don’t turn it into a competition
This is another good tip on how to communicate with a man. Men are naturally very competitive, so, if you try to one-up them in a conversation, they are very likely to take the bait and fight back. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t stand your ground with a man any less than you would with another woman. Just be aware that men really don’t like losing at anything, so it could turn into a tit-for-tat point scoring competition!
6. Don’t be afraid of the pauses
Another trait that many men have is that they will pause for thought before they speak. They like to think things through and consider their responses carefully before they speak. Don’t be afraid of those brief pauses and don’t try to fill them with your own voice. It’s just a habit that some men have and, if you do try to fill the space, you will end up talking over a man and then they will think that you are interrupting them.
7. Be yourself
This is one of the most important tips on how to communicate with a man. You don’t need to play-act to impress a man; you just need to be yourself. They may have different interests and they may be a bit abrupt at times, but they would much rather talk to someone who is real, than to someone who is very obviously putting on an act. Things like fluttering the eyelids and playing dumb may work in the movies, but real men will see right through that kind of thing.
8. Don’t ask a man to multi-task
Don’t expect a man to either drop what he is doing to listen to you, or to listen to you and continue with what he is doing. Men and multi-tasking really don’t mix, so pick your moment to talk about something important. If you don’t, you may think that he has taken on board what you said, but he probably wasn’t really listening properly.
9. Compliment him
Men don’t get as many compliments as women do, so if you want to get a guy’s attention, give him a sincere compliment. Whether you compliment him on his choice of clothes, his wit, or how well he has done something, he’ll love it that you noticed and you will have his undivided attention after that.
10. Don’t gossip
Our final piece of advice on how to communicate with a man is never gossip about other people or you will be falling straight into the stereotypical image that some men have of women. If a man has something to say to a person, he will say it to their face. Gossip and rumour are not something that will interest most men.
What are your best tips on how to communicate with a man?