Here is how can you mend a broken heart
A breakup is an awful thing to go through, especially if you don’t see it coming and it’s not what you wanted at all. We invest a lot of our time and efforts in relationships, we have great hopes that they will last, and we often will have built that relationship into all of our plans for the future. So, when a relationship comes to an end, for whatever reason, we can feel a huge amount of loss and betrayal and it can take a long time to completely get over heartbreak. If you are still bearing the pain of a breakup, here are ten tips that will help you mend your broken heart.
1. Accept your emotions
It’s tough, and it hurts, so accept the pain that you are feeling and allow yourself to grieve. The emotions that you feel when you break up with someone you love are just the same as you feel when you lose a close family member. You have to allow yourself a period of grieving and introspection, before you can really move on.
2. Break the cycle
In the first few weeks, you will be finding reminders of your ex in everything you do. You will be thinking about him when you look at the chair he used to sit in, or when you cook the food that he used to like. Break all your old habits and try something new and that will make it easier not to think about your ex, you could rearrange the furniture, go out to different places, or take up a new hobby. Do as much as you can to draw a line between your old life and your new one.
3. Don’t contact your ex
The best thing to do after a breakup is to break all ties with our ex and, however much that you feel that may you want to, don’t start making excuses to see him again. If he left some of his things at your place, send them to him, or ask a friend to deliver them to him for you, but don’t ask him round to pick them up. Every time you see your ex, it will bring back the memories, and you will have to start the grieving process all over again.
4. Don’t start a rebound relationship
You might think that jumping straight back into dating again will mend your broken heart, but it will probably make you feel worse, and it will most likely end in tears. Rebound relationships are almost always a bad idea, because you emotions will still be raw, and you will not have gotten over your ex yet. It won’t be fair on the new guy either, because he’s going to be in a no-win situation.
5. Enjoy your new found independence for a while
Instead of thinking about all the things that you will miss, try to think about all the things that you can do that now that you are not tied down by a relationship. You need to get out of the mind-set that says you have to be in a relationship to be happy, because that is simply not true. Many people live the single life out of choice and they have a great time living it to the full!
6. Don’t stay at home alone for too long
You might need a few days to yourself to collect your thoughts and cry a few tears, but don’t let that isolation become too much of a habit. As soon as you feel strong enough, get out with friends, or go and visit your family. If you sit at home on your own, your mind will invariably settle on sad thoughts, but if you are with other people, it will take your mind off your ex for a while.
7. Take a holiday
If you can, take a few days off work and take a short vacation somewhere you have never been before. Breakups are emotionally draining, so you could probably do with a break anyway. If spend some time in new surroundings, and with people you don’t know, it will take your mind off things and give you time to start to heal.
8. Don’t be too hard on yourself
Whatever happened to cause a breakup, it is extremely unlikely that it is all down to you, so don’t blame yourself for the split. Everyone has the thoughts of ‘what did I do wrong’, and ‘what could I have done differently’, but the reality is that there is probably nothing that you could have done and you just have to put it down to experience. Usually, if there anyone to blame at all for the end of a relationship, there will have been faults on both sides.
9. Give your compassion to someone else
Even when you are going through the pain of heartbreak, you are still loved and you are still capable of showing your love to other people. Focus your attention on trying to help other people and caring for the other people in your life that you love. Sometimes, all we need after a breakup is to be reminded that we are not alone.
10. It will pass
The biggest healer for a broken heart is time. Although you may not believe it when you first break up with someone you love, you will get over the pain and, eventually, you will be able to look on the relationship with fond memories, rather than regret. Take it easy, take it one step at a time, and you will soon be able to move on with the rest of your life.