FEELING LONELY IN A RELATIONSHIP? HERE ARE POSSIBLE REASONS
Ever found yourself saying, “I feel lonely … but I don’t know why”? It happens. Lots of us feel lonely but we don’t always know the clear reason. In this article, Beauty and Tips tries to define what loneliness is, takes a look at possible reasons for your loneliness and provides a few solutions.
Loneliness has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. We all go through rough patches now and then, but when loneliness seems to be swamping us all the time, it feels as though life is something that happens to everyone else but never to us.
In the U.S., 40% of people say they feel lonely. Is it because they’re single? Not necessarily. Even those in relationships can feel lonely, and that’s the topic of this article.
Naturally, there is nothing wrong with being alone. Loneliness and being alone and enjoying ones company are two different things. Loneliness is how disconnected you feel from everyone; no one understands you, and you feel cut off and adrift. Loneliness is about how we interact – or fail to interact – with others as much as it is about having no one.
And it’s especially worse when we’re in a relationship with someone but still feel that disconnect.
Overcoming loneliness can be hard when it’s become a psychological condition. It can turn into anxiety and stress, and it can easily become something serious. We’ll be looking at ways to treat loneliness in this article, but for now let’s take a look at possible reasons why you’re feeling lonely.
POSSIBLE REASONS WHY YOU FEEL LONELY:
You Live In The Past
Sometimes, our loneliness is a hangover from our past. When things don’t go our way in life, how do we react? Many of us react the way we’ve always reacted – it’s the only way we know how. Doing so mean we’re constantly living in the past. It’s only when we realise we’re reacting to things the same way all the time that we can make positive changes.
Loneliness can sometimes stem from childhood – and it can linger without us realising it. If you were shy as a kid and found it hard to connect with people, it could be the reason you still feel lonely as an adult, even though you feel more confident and have more friends.
Shaking off the past isn’t easy and a simple article like this won’t help. If you think your lonely past still lingers large over the present, talk to a therapist.
You Don’t Know What You Want
If you don’t know what you want in life and in your relationship, and if you don’t know what your value are, you may find yourself doing things that you don’t really want to do.
This can exacerbate those feelings of not belonging, and it can add to your loneliness. Discover who you are, what you want – and then do the things you really want to do.
For example, if you don’t know what you want from a relationship or from a partner, you might be with a person who doesn’t share your values and who isn’t giving you what you want.
That isn’t their fault, of course. Because you don’t know what you want, they can’t give it to you.
For as long as you don’t know what you want, this disconnect will continue.
A Lack of Communication
The most obvious cause of feeling lonely in a relationship is a lack of communication. If you and your partner aren’t communicating, it’s going to be hard to fulfil your needs and achieve happiness. Maybe this isn’t something you’ve ever addressed, but unless you open up to your partner about everything a disconnect between the two of you will exist. And if you can’t communicate your feelings because you don’t trust your partner, you need to figure out why this is.
HOW TO STOP FEELING LONELY?
Spend More Time With Your Partner
The last thing you want to do is perpetuate the cycle of loneliness. Unfortunately, this is really easy to do. However, it’s important that you don’t isolate yourself.
If you and your partner don’t see each other as often as you’d like, talk to them about it. Raise awareness of the situation and tell them that you guys need to do more things together, whether it’s date nights or just going to bed at the same time. Nowadays, couples are busier than ever and this can create a disconnect. Find ways of spending more quality time with your partner.
Talk To Them
If you don’t communicate no where nearly enough, now’s the time to change all that. And if you feel as though you do communicate enough with your partner, ask yourself this: “Have I told my partner that I feel lonely?”
If you haven’t, it’s a sign that you don’t talk to them enough about your feelings.
If we don’t share how we’re feeling with our partner, and if we don’t discuss possible reasons why we feel that way, then of course they’ll fail to understand where we’re at right now. This creates a feeling of disconnect and it can lead to feelings of loneliness. Communicate more openly with your partner. Discuss how you’re feeling with them. Get it out in the open.
Meet New People And Do New Things
No, we’re not saying that you need to get yourself a new partner. But many times when we get into a relationship, we shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. We stop hanging out with our other friends, we stop chasing our passions and we rely solely on our partner for emotional validation.
This is terribly unhealthy. It puts pressure on them which can cause friction in the relationship, and it can exacerbate your feelings of loneliness. You’re now isolated from the rest of the world as much as you are from your partner.
Start seeing your friends again but meet new people, too. Do new things that excite you.