10 Reasons why it’s often hard for guys and girls to be just good friends
Can men and women be friends? Any sensible, modern thinking person would say that, of course, men and women can be close friends and nothing more. But is it really that simple? Like it or not, both men and women are made, by nature, to seek out a mate in members of the opposite gender, and that natural urge can’t always be put completely to one side. Guys and girls should be able to be just friends, and we want to be, but here are ten reasons why it’s not quite as easy as you might think:
1. One of you will eventually develop feelings for the other
As we said in our introduction, when two members of the opposite gender become close, nature will do its best to take things further. At some point in time, and you know that it often happens, it is quite likely that the thought of taking the friendship further will cross someone’s mind, even if only briefly.
2. Jealousy can creep into the equation
A man can get jealous when a close male buddy starts to spend more time with another guy, so it’s bound to happen in a girl / guy friendship too. It can get more complicated though, in an opposite gender friendship, and it can be more difficult for both sides to handle.
3. Romantic moments will just appear, out of the blue
So, you go out to see a movie, you have dinner after and suddenly, whoops, this is all getting a bit too serious! There will be times when, all of a sudden, a night out with a friend starts to feel like a date, and it can be hard to put the brakes on when that happens.
4. Partners won’t understand this friendship
A lot of people simply don’t believe that a close friendship between two people of the opposite gender is even possible at all. The jealousy of partners can put a huge pressure on a platonic friendship and difficult choices might have to be made.
5. It can get annoying when other people will pressure friends to date
Friends and family will often put pressure on good friends to start dating. They will say things like: ‘You’re so good together, you should be dating’. That can get really annoying, but it can also become tempting.
6. Even TV and movies assume that it’s not possible
The pressure is always on. In the movies and on TV, friends seem to always become lovers, and the ‘on-off relationship’ often forms a major part of the plot. It would actually be quite refreshing to watch a programme where they stay just friends, because they want to.
7. Cross the boundary once, and it’s probably over
Another problem that friends of the opposite gender can have is that it only takes one moment of indiscretion and the whole friendship can be ruined. Once the friendship boundary has been crossed, it can be very difficult to go back again.
8. It can just get embarrassing
While people can talk about pretty much anything to friends, there will be embarrassing and awkward moments, between opposite gender friends. When the discussion goes on to embarrassing topics, then that can lead to two extremely red faces and a rapid change of topic.
9. It is easy to confuse the different types of love
You can love your family, you can love your dog, and yes, you can love a friend of either gender too. When you love a friend of the same gender, you know intuitively that it is a different kind of love, but when that friend is of the opposite gender, it’s not so easy to tell the difference.
10. Researches show it’s impossible
Of course, it’s possible that friends can stay just friends, but not everyone can do it and it would seem that it’s the guys that don’t usually have the strength to keep a friendship platonic. In a recent study, researchers found that while most of the girls in opposite gender friendships harboured no hidden desires, by far the majority of the men did.
Can men and women be friends? Do you think it’s possible for guys and girls to be just good friends?