10 Things Every Lady Should Do Before Starting A New Relationship
When I suffered my first break-up, my mom said to me “these things are sent to try us.”
I didn’t really pay any attention to her words at the time – I was too upset. Plus, I thought she was just sprouting a lazy cliche intended to make me feel good.
Now, after many years of experience with relationships, I realise how wise those simple but powerful words really are.
Ending a relationship is hard, but it’s important that we don’t spend the following weeks and months feeling sorry for ourselves. Instead, it’s much more productive if we analyse what went wrong and take a look at how we can make sure our next relationship better.
Breakups are meant to try us. They’re a life lesson we can learn from. When we’re newly single again, it’s important that we use our time wisely in preparation for our next relationship, so that we aren’t left with so much pain once again.
Here are 10 things every lady should do before starting a new relationship:
Create A Better Life
Maybe you entered your last relationship at the wrong time. Maybe you weren’t ready. Maybe your life wasn’t as good and as organised as you would have liked. Perhaps you were between jobs, down on your heels, or a little bit lost. As such, your relationship might have suffered as a result.
Now that you’re single, it’s a great idea to improve your life. Have a think about what you want your life to be like when Mr Right walks into it. Do you want the dream job? Maybe you want your own apartment this time?
Write down a list of things that would improve your life – and go and achieve them.
Learn How To Apologise
Not knowing how to apologise can ruin a relationship. If this was a fault of yours in the past, now is the time to work on saying sorry.
Always be humble to accept that you made a mistake. Even when you were right, apologise. This is not being weak – it’s being empathetic and showing willingness to build bridges.
Let Go Of The Past
You should NEVER start a new relationship before you’ve totally got over the past. Dating a new guy while the tornado of your last relationship is still flinging debris around you is not a good idea. It will prevent you from fully committing and enjoying this new thing you have.
Baggage is not cool. It will affect you and it will affect your partner. He might say that he’s totally okay with you talking about your ex, but the reality is that you’re not really okay with any of this right now. Until you forget all about your ex, you are just not ready for a new relationship.
Learn to forgive, forget and move on. It’s kinda important.
Cut Down On Social Media
Social media can wreck a relationship. Whether you’re wondering who on earth that new girl is who keeps commenting on your boyfriend’s photos, or whether you’re worried that he’s ghosting you in instant messaging, it can lead to stress, jealousy and arguments.
Now that you’re newly single, start afresh by cutting down drastically on the amount of time you spend on social media. If possible, delete your accounts altogether.
When you do enter a new relationship, you’ll be less inclined to spend all your time on social media imagining all kinds of bad stuff which puts your relationship in jeopardy.
Be More Organised
When I got into my second relationship, I was very disorganised. I had no idea where I was going in life or what I was doing. I was a mess – I had no control.
Stability and organisation is key to a solid relationship. If your life is currently riddled with uncertainties, trap doors and black holes, you will struggle to give your partner any kind of security.
So get organised! Organise everything in your life, including your stack of DVDs to your bills.
Keep a better lid on things. Delete friends on Facebook you never talk to anymore, catch up with work that you’re behind on. Buy a calendar. Stay one step ahead of the game.
If you hate yourself and feel as though you deserve nobody, you will wind up with people who might treat you badly.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Stop looking for happiness from without. True happiness and harmony comes from within. Look inside yourself and learn how to love who you are.
Self-respect is fundamental if you’re going to have a successful relationship. If you don’t respect yourself, why should anyone else respect you?
Look after yourself better. Shower every day just for the sake of feeling fresh. Wear killer outfits even if you’re just nipping to the grocery store.
Eat a better diet, get in shape. Look and feel your best at all times. Get out of bed early. Treat your mind and body well.
Be More Positive
Few people enjoy going on dates with negative people who find something negative to say about everything.
“We can meet up again. You don’t have to. Like, I have no idea why anyone would want to meet me again.”
Quit the self-deprecation. Start seeing the brighter side of things. When you talk to people, be positive and optimistic. Be the person who puts a smile on people’s faces.
Being positive helps when you’re in a relationship. You lift the other person, and together you realise that all obstacles can be overcome.
Set Out Your Intentions
Relationships sometimes fail because we don’t know exactly what our intentions are. Do we something long-term or do we just want a bit of fun?
Moreover, what do you even want from a partner?
Before your next relationship, write down a list of your intentions. Ask what you want from this relationship, as well as what you want from him.
Whenever I feel down, I watch a movie called Life Is Beautiful. It’s about a young Italian family who are taken to a camp by the Germans in the second world war. Despite their desperate situation, the dad manages to keep his spirits high. He finds beauty and happiness everywhere.
The film always reminds me to enjoy life. And once you start enjoying life and living it to its full, good things – and good relationships – will come your way.
Find the things you love and do them. Engage your passions. Go travelling, see the world. Meet new and fantastic people. Appreciate the miracle of life. You only get one chance. Do it.