9 Things you shouldn’t ask for in a relationship
There are some things that you have every right to expect in a relationship and you shouldn’t have to ask for. Things like respect, honesty and staying faithful, shouldn’t need spelling out. Some people, though, go over the top with what they expect from their partner and expect too much. They use phrases like ‘you would do this or that, if you really loved me’ to coerce their partners into doing things that they don’t really want to. When that starts to happen, the relationship has become manipulative and one sided. You don’t have to be a mean person to ask for things that you really shouldn’t, you might be doing it without even realising. Make sure that your partner is not saying yes, when he wants to say no, and read these 9 things that it is unfair to ask for in a relationship.
1. Ask him not to see his family
It’s not unusual for men to have a love-hate relationship with their family, and you may dislike some of his family members too. That doesn’t mean that you can be the one to decide whether or not he sees his family. So long as you are not spending every day with his family, however you feel about them, you shouldn’t put obstacles in the way of his being with them sometimes.
2. Ask him to lie for you
Whatever wonderful webs you have weaved to get yourself out of going to work or talking to a friend that you don’t want to talk to; it’s really not fair to get your partner involved in the deceit. The odd little white lie might just be OK, but too many, and he will forget what he’s supposed to say and drop you right in it!
3. Ask him to stop being a man
Don’t expect your man to stop being a man. He’s going to want to watch the game sometimes, drink a few beers and, sometimes, he’s going to make a mess too. Give him some space in the home to do his man-things and don’t expect him to become the perfect example of domesticated man overnight. Take his thoughts into account when decorating the home too. Feminine pink florals all over the place might be to your liking, but they may not be to his.
4. Ask him to buy you things when he can’t afford it
A lot of guys are suckers for the womanly charm and, if you try hard enough, he probably will extend his overdraft to buy you that new designer handbag you have been after. Remember, though, with great power comes great responsibility! Don’t ask him to overstretch himself financially just because you know he will.
5. Ask him to give up his friends
Men need their buddies, just as you need your close friends, so don’t ask him to give up his time with the boys. It is perfectly natural, in a healthy relationship, for you both to have friends outside of the relationship. It helps stop the relationship becoming stale and boring.
6. Ask him not to have female friends
Don’t let your jealous streak take over the relationship; it is possible for a man to have female friends and there be nothing untoward going on. If you keep on pressurising him not to talk to other women, he will probably still talk to them and just not tell you about it. It would be far better if you were able to trust him more and have everything out in the open.
7. Ask him to love everything that you do
You can’t expect to have 100% compatibility in a relationship, so don’t expect him to like all the same things that you do. You don’t need to do absolutely everything together, so don’t ask him to join your flower arranging class if he doesn’t want to! You go and do your flower arranging and let him stay in and watch his favourite sports game.
8. Ask him to treat you differently to how you treat him
Healthy relationships are all about mutual respect, so you can’t treat your partner badly and expect him to treat you perfectly. If you lose your temper and shout at him, then you can expect that he will do the same to you. Or, to put another way, do unto your partner as you would have him do unto you!
9. Ask him to change
Don’t ever go into a relationship thinking that you will be able to change your partner, because you will fail. At the best, if you ask your partner to change who he is, he will put on an act to please you. Underneath, though, he will still be the same person and you having asked him to change will eventually lead to his resentment.
Treasure your love and stay happy!