8 Tips on how to improve communication in your relationship
Communication in a relationship means far more, than just talking. That sounds a rather odd thing to say, doesn’t it? But, you can say ‘hi’ to a stranger in the street, that’s just talking; communicating properly, takes a lot more effort than that. To communicate with your partner means listening, as well as talking and here are eight tips on how to create the two-way and meaningful communication that helps to build a strong and healthy partnership:
1. Stay calm
Have you ever stood on the outside of an argument and watched two people scream at each other? They rarely make any sense and they are certainly not communicating. When you lose your temper, you make it hard for you to really express what you are trying to say. So don’t try and settle things over an argument, wait until you have both calmed down a bit and discuss it then.
2. Stick to the point in hand
When a discussion gets heated, it’s easy to veer off the subject and to lose sight of what even started the debate! Trying to score points, by bringing up other complaints, like a barrage of cheap shots, will not resolve the real issue. Stay calm, and stick to the main issue in hand and it will be resolved a lot sooner.
3. Try and see things from your partners’ point of view
It’s a hard call sometimes, but a little bit of empathy can go a long way towards resolving a dispute. Try and put yourself in their shoes and think how you would be thinking, if roles were reversed. It might give you a better understanding of why they are angry or what’s making them feel the way that they feel.
4. Listen and listen properly
Listen carefully to what your partner has to say and take it on board. ‘You never listen to me!’ is a common cry in relationship breakdowns, so don’t let it happen to you. Half hearing each other and perhaps just saying ‘yes’, at the point that you think it might be expected is not just rude, it might mean that you are both missing the important things that are happening between you.
5. Always be honest and be open
If you can’t trust your own partner with your hopes, as well as your fears, then who can you trust? If you are always honest and open with each other then you will know that you can trust in what you say to each other. Your partner should be one of the few people in the world that you never need to wonder what they really mean or what the hidden agenda is.
6. Don’t forget the love and respect
Everyone argues and fights, but don’t lose sight of all the love and respect in a moment of anger and don’t say something that you later can regret. Even if you 100% disagree on something, try and remember all the things that you do agree on, before you blurt out something hurtful or spiteful. Keep it calm, keep it logical and then you will both have all the fun of making up afterwards!
7. Read the body language
You shouldn’t need to be a mind reader to know your partner is upset about something; you should be able to see it in the way they stand or are behaving. Learn to read the signs: the distant gaze, the slouched shoulders or the folded arms. They all mean something and they convey almost as much as words, especially, if your partner isn’t really ready to talk about something yet.
8. Give each other the time to talk
It is important to listen to each other and if you don’t, how can you expect to know what each of you wants and needs. Make sure that you have time for talking and allow each other to get points across, when you do talk. If you find yourselves talking over one another, then neither of you is really listening, so call time on the debate, have a beak and try again later.
How to improve communication in your relationship? Do you have some other tips? Feel free to share them in the comment section below.