8 Bad habits to avoid that are ruining your relationship
When a couple has been together for some time, the little habits, that used to just mildly irritate, can escalate into really big issues that can ruin a relationship. The problem is though, with habits, we barely notice ourselves doing these things and we don’t even realize that they are annoying. When you first fall in love, you don’t really care about some of these little annoying traits that your partner has, but after a few years they can really begin to grate. We’ve compiled a list of the top eight habits that can ruin a relationship, so check it out and see if you, or your partner, are guilty of any of these:
1. Checking up on your partner
You might think it’s completely innocent to casually check his phone or email, but everyone has a right to some privacy. If you need to check on his every movement during the day and know where he is all the time, then your lack of trust will eventually cause a problem in your relationship.
2. Keeping score
Forgive and forget should be the bywords of a relationship and if you are keeping a note of every single little mistake that he makes then this is going to get tiresome. Even things like who did the dishes last or who took the rubbish out really shouldn’t matter between a loving couple, and constant score keeping is only going to cause unnecessary tension.
3. Nit Picking
Are you someone for whom nothing is done right unless you do it yourself? If, every time he cleans the bathroom, you point out that he’s missed a bit or if he puts round the vacuum cleaner and you immediately do it again yourself, you are going to stop him even trying. Constant picking at everything he does will make him feel unwanted and not valued and he will give up and go out with his friends instead.
4. Criticising his family
You are putting yourself in a difficult position, if you are constantly criticising his family. Even he, himself, probably thinks, at times, that his family is annoying, but he’s allowed to say that, you are not. No one likes to hear others running down their own flesh and blood, and if you do it too often, you are going to make this a bigger issue, than it really is.
5. Raising awkward subjects at the wrong times
There are right times to discuss important issues and there are wrong times. Just because the time is right for you, doesn’t mean the time is right for him. Raising a thorny issue like finances or a problem with the kids, the second he walks through the door after work, is only going to stress him out even more. The other one to avoid is raising difficult topics right after lovemaking: ‘That was great; did you know we are overdrawn at the bank again?’ That’s not cool!
6. Arguing in public
Bite your tongue until you get home! You may well need to get something off your chest, but arguing in public, or worse, around his parents’ home, is really going to drive your partner mad. If you find yourselves regularly arguing in public, then this is something that needs to be changed – you need to talk about it in private.
7. Using the silent treatment
Never use the silent treatment to punish your partner; it will only cause even more resentment and bad feelings. Practicing the art of silence is never going to solve anything and, if you are both at it, someone has to give up eventually or you might as well not be together at all.
8. Ignoring your partner
No one likes to be ignored, it’s even worse than being shouted at. Ignoring a person is the same as saying to them that they are so unimportant to you that you can’t even be bothered to talk to him. If you are ignoring each other on a regular basis and barely even acknowledge each other’s existence, then you have a real problem on your hands that needs be resolved.
Do you have some other relationship tips to share?