10 Wrong reasons to get married
Getting married is a big step in anyone’s life and it is not a decision that should be taken lightly. You are committing yourself 100% to a relationship with one person and the assumption is that the relationship will last for the rest of your lives. It is vital, then, that when you do say yes to what could be the biggest question you get asked in your life, you say yes for the right reasons. The right reasons to get married are that you love a person and you want to spend the rest of your life with them, but there are lots of reasons why people get married for the wrong reasons. If you get married for the wrong reasons, you could find yourself living a loveless and very unhappy existence, so here are ten of the wrong reasons to get married that you should avoid.
1. Because you afraid of being left on the shelf
The pressure to get married can become pretty intense when you realise that you are the only one left of all your circle of friends that is still single. Don’t jump into marriage because you are concerned that you are getting too old, you can marry at any age, so wait for the right man to come along before you make such a big commitment.
2. Because you want to get away from your parents
The cost of buying or renting a home is so high these days that marriage might seem like the only way that you could afford to move out of your parent’s home. There are far less drastic ways to move away from mom and dad than getting married! Look for a cheap one bed apartment or look for housemates. That way, you will get your independence without having wrong reasons to get married.
3. Because you are pregnant
Bringing up a child on your own can be tough, but it will be a lot tougher on the child if they are brought up in an unhappy marriage. There is no stigma to being a single parent anymore and no problem with being a child who was born out of wedlock. There is absolutely no reason at all that a woman has to get married because she is pregnant, that kind of view is well out of date.
4. Because you don’t want to lose him
Another one of wrong reasons to get married is because you don’t want to lose him. People stay together because they want to, not because they are forced to by a marriage certificate. If either party is forcing the other into marriage, then that marriage is virtually guaranteed to fail. If you are really not yet ready for marriage, then tell him. If he does love you, he will wait until the time is right for you as well.
5. Because you don’t want to hurt his feelings
He may well be a lovely and sensitive guy, but you still should not marry him just to save hurting his feelings. You won’t be happy in a marriage that started out this way and you will hurt him a lot more when you find out just how incompatible you both really are and you might divorce a few years later.
6. Because he’s rich
This is another one of wrong reasons to get married. Money is no replacement for a loving relationship, so don’t marry a guy just because of the size of his bank account. Money can make life easier and bring you lots of nice things, but it can also make life more complicated too. Love should be the main reason for getting married and money should only play an extremely small part in your decision to marry.
7. To get your own back on someone
Some people get married to spite their parents, or to get their own back on an ex. This, of course, would be an extremely selfish reason to get married and it won’t bring either you, or your spouse, happiness.
8. Because you think that marriage will make you whole
You don’t need a wedding ring on your finger to be a complete person and, if anything, you need to be well rounded and whole person before you even think about getting married. Despite what some romantic poems and some love songs might suggest, marriage isn’t the joining of two halves; it’s the partnership of two whole, happy individuals.
9. Because you think that it will solve all your problems
Don’t get married because you are unhappy and think that marriage will instantly solve everything for you, because it’s also one of wrong reasons to get married. Marriage comes with its own set of problems and challenges that you will have to face, it’s not some kind of universal panacea. Marriage, for the right reasons, is a wonderful experience, but if you marry for the wrong reasons, you could just make your problems a whole lot worse.
10. Because someone is forcing you to
Whatever the reasons may be behind it, cultural or otherwise, no one should be forced to marry a person against their will. You should marry because you want to, you feel that is right for you, and because you love a person. Those are the things that will lay the foundations for a happy and long lasting marriage.
Do you know other wrong reasons to get married?