10 Ways Internet Can Ruin Relationships
The Internet has changed the world in a lot of ways. It’s improved the way we communicate with others, enhanced globalisation, and given us unprecedented access to knowledge.
The Internet has its flaws, too. And one of its major flaws is how it can negatively impact on a relationship.
I have a sixteen-year-old niece who is literally gobsmacked when her grandma and granddad tell her how they met when they were both nineteen and have stayed together ever since.
Not only that, but they’ve only ever dated each other. There has never been anyone else.
My niece has already dated three different boys, and says she can’t see herself getting married before she is 30. What a different world we now live in!
The Internet has changed the way we view relationships. It has opened up doors to encounters with people we wouldn’t met in real life. We can now pick a date off an app and meet up with them within 20 minutes. If we don’t click, we can find someone else tomorrow.
As well as improving the odds of you meeting someone ideal for you, the Internet is also capable or ruining relationships for good.
Here are 10 ways the Internet can damage a relationship.
It Can Make You Jealous
When you’re not in a relationship, social media isn’t really a problem. In fact, it’s actually quite fun and entertaining!
But as soon as you get into a relationship, social media can become the worst thing in your life.
“OMG why did someone have to invent Facebook??”
All of a sudden, you’re getting jealous of all the comments you’re boyfriend is receiving for his pictures. And there’s this one girl in particular who always comments every time he uploads a new pic.
Who is she? Does she really like him? Does she message him?
Sometimes, it’s actually much better to disable social media whenever you enter a new relationship.
You Say Things You Wouldn’t Say In Person
It’s like close to midnight and he’s STILL on Facebook chat. Who is he talking to? Is he talking to Rachel?
If there was no Internet, you would be in bed now, blissfully unaware of what your boyfriend is up to. But because you can see he’s online, you imagine the worst.
So you message him.
“ARE YOU TALKING TO RACHEL? OMG I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS!”
“Uh. No. I was talking to my mom. Here is a screenshot.”
The temptation to see what else is out there is real. In just a few flicks, you could be checking out other men when you’re a bit bored.
Things might even be going okay with your partner, but you can’t help but wander if there is another cool, mysterious and hilarious guy out there who you could be having a bit of fun with.
And the worst thing is, your man might be having the same thoughts.
He Can’t Get Off His Phone
You want some alone time with him tonight. Just you, your boo, and some movies.
Twenty seconds into the film, he whips his phone out. You’re not happy but you let it pass as long as he doesn’t get it out again.
One minute and two seconds into the movie again, and he pops back onto the phone. Damn. You’re already annoyed.
After ten minutes, you decide to pop onto Facebook to see what he’s saying. And there he is! He’s commenting on some girls’ photo, while liking a picture of his best friends hot dog and making a status about football.
“Why don’t you just marry your phone?!”
He “Ghosts” You
You’ve uploaded a new picture to Facebook that you know looks amazing. You’ve never looked better!
He hasn’t commented or liked your photo yet, but you know it’s only a matter of time before he does.
Bing! You’ve got a new notification. This is definitely your boyfriend commenting on your picture.
OMG! It’s just your creepy friend Colin telling you you look great. Go away Colin, no one likes you!
Two days pass and still your boy hasn’t liked or commented on your new photo. You know he’s active on Facebook because he’s liking other girls’ photos. But not yours!
Often, it can appear that our man is “ghosting” us online. The reality, though, is that he’s probably just busy or hasn’t seen something.
You Keep Looking At His Old Photos
Before social media, we just had to guess what our boyfriends looked like five years ago. Most of the time we just assume they haven’t really changed.
But social media lets us stalk their old photos and compare them with how they look today.
“Why did he have to put on so much weight?”
You Can’t Read His Tone
When you’re talking face to face with your partner, you can read them pretty well. You understand his tone of voice, and nothing really gets lost in translation.
It is, however, very different on the Internet. When it looks like he’s annoyed with you and dishing out one word answers, it might be that he’s very busy multitasking right now.
Things get lost in translation on the Internet, and they can cause you to ask the dreaded “am I annoying you?” question.
And after asking it too many times, a relationship can start to break down.
You Compare Your Relationship With Others
You always thought that your relationship was awesome. No one loved each other as you and your man love one another. No one has as much fun and adventure. You two are the best!
But hold on a minute! Because, as you’ve just seen on the Internet, your friend seems to be even more in love with her boyfriend than you are with yours. Is this possible?!
And OMG look at how much fun they’re having! Is that a dolphin?!
Unfortunately, comparing our own relationship with others’ on the Internet can easily distort what a relationship is meant to be like. It skews our perception and can leave us feeling down because we’re not getting as much out of this as other people are getting out of their relationships.
Is His Status About You
Sometimes, boys love to make super ambiguous statues. Who do they think they are? Poets?
Worse still, is that status aimed at us?
You Don’t Enjoy The Moment
Hands up if you’ve been on a date with your partner and updated all your social media followers and friends during the date? Maybe you’ve made a few statuses and uploaded a few photos.
Doing this means you are actively sharing private moments publicly. You are inviting others into your date. It’s no longer just about you and him – it’s about you, him and your friends.
This can harm intimacy between the two of you, and it also means that you’re failing to enjoy the present moment.