10 Valuable Lessons You Can Learn From A Bad Relationship
We have mostly all had a bad relationship at one time or another. You know, the relationship where nothing went right and you find yourself wondering how in the world you managed to hook up with that person in the first place.
The problem with failed relationships is that they can have a damaging effect on us. Failure in all aspects of our lives is something we’re conditioned to see as a negative thing. If we fail at love, we consider giving up. We’re lost in the land of the no-hoper’s, stuck on the shelf for eternity!
But failure is always a chance to learn from our mistakes. You should look at a bad relationship and identify what made it such a bad relationship; what can you learn from it, so you can avoid making the same mistake next time? Let’s take a look at 10 valuable lessons that will help you grow.
Learn To Communicate
One of the chief failings of a bad relationship is poor communication between two people. Nobody is a mind reader, yet for some reason we often assume that our partner has the ability to read our minds.
To make a relationship work, you need to communicate with one another. You need to speak out and express your feelings, as opposed to keeping everything bottled up inside. A relationship simply won’t grow if you hide what is on your mind.
I remember when I was a teenager; a friend (of the opposite sex) who I fancied said to me that he believes there are different people who are right for us at different times of our lives. This suggested to me that he didn’t believe in long, lasting relationships. People come and people go. It sounded like a rather sad way to look at life at the time.
But now I know that you do need patience when it comes to relationships. People really do come and go; bad relationships happen, and so do good ones. But even the good relationships don’t always last. You need to learn to have patience and wait for the right one. It could come along in two years, ten years or even twenty years time. So be it.
Learn To Empathise
If you’ve never been in a relationship before, it can be very difficult to empathise with someone. The chances are that you’ve never had someone in your life who you love so much that you’d do anything to look after them.
In a bad relationship, empathy is often missing. You should care for the other persons happiness, but you don’t. Their happiness should make you happy, but it doesn’t.
Therefore, a bad relationship can teach you that for any relationship to survive, you both need to be empathetic people who care deeply for the welfare of the other person.
It’s Sometimes Actually Better To Be Alone
If you’re in a crushing relationship where your partner doesn’t understand you, you might well be wondering why in the world you are bothering.
Are you with them just because you don’t want to be alone? But isn’t being alone better than being in a relationship that just makes you feel bad about yourself?
If nothing else, a failed relationship has to teach you that being in a relationship doesn’t complete you. It doesn’t define who you are. You define who you are, whether you’re alone or with someone else. Have the freedom to simply be and to make your own decisions.
It Doesn’t Matter What Other People Think
Perhaps your friends all had an opinion on your relationship. It happens. Everyone wants a piece of the action, and they all want to offer their running commentary.
The reality, though, is that it doesn’t matter what other people think. You are your own person and you have the right to make your own choices in life, right or wrong. Yes, you will make a few poor choices (we all will), but it’s how you react to these choices that is important.
Learn To Compromise
How many times did you argue in your bad relationship? And how many times did you reach a compromise?
I’m guessing probably not too many times. You probably fought your corner to the death, and they probably fought their corner to the death. Neither of you wanted to back down and admit you were at fault. You both wanted to win.
This is very bad for a relationship. Instead, you need to listen to one another and find a compromise that suits both parties. It’s the only way to end an argument fairly.
You’ve No Time For Regret
The thing about a bad relationship is that it’s a past relationship. It’s over. Like many things in your life, it’s gone forever.
Dwelling on past mistakes, such as a wrong career move, a missed opportunity, or an awful relationship, just makes you feel down in the dumps. And you’ve no time to feel like this; it’s unproductive and won’t get you anywhere.
Instead, it’s time to lift your head up high, live without regrets, and move on to better things.
You Can’t Change People
You should have learned by now that you simply cannot change people. If you were unsure about this person before you got with them, you probably thought you could change them.
That’s okay, we’ve all been there. We’ve all found a catch who we thought were a bit rough around the edges. But we assumed we could smarten them up.
As long as you know how to listen to the warning signs and red flags, it’s totally cool. Just look for the qualities you know you love.
You Can Still Trust People
After a bad relationship, a lot of people emerge from it and say that they can’t trust people anymore. This is really such a shame because there are a lot of amazing people out there. There really are.
You should still trust people. Reconnect with the friends and the family you love; they will remind you that people can be awesome most of the time. As mentioned above, always look for the qualities you know you love in a person.
You Become Stronger
Heartbreak is a truly awful thing, but one thing it does is make us stronger people.
When we’ve had our heart ripped out by the person we thought was right for us, it no doubt leaves us weak and floored for some time. But eventually our character pulls us through; we lift ourselves up and we emerge stronger and more resilient. Our mental strength grows and future problems become small fry.