10 Tips on what to do when your boyfriend hurts your feelings
It is inevitable that, at some stage in a relationship, you will feel hurt by your boyfriend’s actions or words and, even when the hurt is entirely unintentional, it can have a deep and lasting effect. The important thing is to not let that hurt wreck an otherwise perfectly happy partnership, so read these ten tips on what to do when your boyfriend hurts your feelings and get your relationship back on track fast.
1. You must tell him
It’s often the case that the man doesn’t even know that he’s hurt you and he’s just thinking that your bad mood is down to something else. You need to tell him what he did to hurt you or he may never realise it, and the bad feelings will just linger on for longer.
2. Explain to him why it hurt you so badly
Remember that men have a different way of looking at things than girls do, and things that might hurt you, wouldn’t affect him at all. He might need to be told that, not only he hurt you, by why what he did was so hurtful. If he’s the caring and considerate type, then he will try and put things right and not make the same mistake again, but he can only do that when he fully understands what has happened.
3. Listen to what he has to say
It is also important to hear his side of the story too. Being hurt can make you angry, but shouting at him will just make an already bad situation worse. Give him that chance to explain himself and to say sorry, and then you can both put the problem to rest quickly.
4. Ask yourself why you feel so hurt
You might have to also ask yourself if you are being totally reasonable. If he really didn’t mean to hurt you and you know that to be true, then might it be you who are overreacting? If this is the case, and you do this often, then be careful. Your boyfriend might soon become afraid to say anything, in case he hurts you again.
5. Don’t go looking for revenge
If your feelings have been genuinely hurt, then now is the time for talking, not going in for tit-for-tat revenge tactics. Giving him the silent treatment or withholding all bedroom privileges is not going to solve the problem.
6. Accept a sincere apology
If he is truly sorry for what he did that hurt your feelings, then you should be prepared to forgive him and move on. We are, of course, talking about the minor upsets here, cheating requires an entirely different approach!
7. Talk to a friend
It can be helpful to talk to a male friend of yours about what has happened. You can talk to your girlfriends too, but they are quite likely to agree with you. A male friend though, might help you to understand better why your boyfriend did or said the thing he did.
8. Give him some time
Once you’ve told him how much he has hurt you, you may need to give him some time to think about it. In the heat of a fight, he probably won’t admit that he was wrong, but give him some space and, if he cares, he will work it out and come back with an apology.
9. Give him a break if this is the first time
If you know that your boyfriend is a caring and loving person and, deep down, you know that he never intended to hurt you, then you really should give him the benefit of the doubt. If it’s the first time that he has hurt you in this way, then now he should know better, but don’t be so forgiving if he does it again!
10. If he keeps doing it, you might need to think again
If your boyfriend keeps on doing things that hurt your feelings and he really doesn’t seem to care less, then you should be thinking long and hard about the future that you will have with this man. It is one thing for a man to make a mistake or inadvertently say the wrong thing, but it’s quite another if it is making you constantly unhappy.
What do you do when your boyfriend hurts your feelings? Do you have some other relationship advice to share?