10 Tips On How To Stop Sabotaging Your Love Life
Our love life is important to us. A rocky love life can even make us feel so blue that we lose our appetite, our concentration at work, and even our zest for life. Things could have been going so well, until we decided to do something a little bit silly that caused our man to flee, leaving us single once more. The worst thing is that it is often us, girls, who are sabotaging our own love life. Frown.
But being loved-up is super important. Once your love life is sorted, everything else seems to fall into place. You’ve got a thirst for life once again, and you become active once more. Everything seems to have a purpose and reason.
So if you’re looking to stop all the self-sabotaging behaviour that is blockading your road to love, let’s take a look at 10 tips you need to read all about.
1. Be Idealistic And Realistic
Some people might say to you that you need to be more realistic when it comes to finding a man. They might tell you that you need to stop looking for Prince Charming, because he doesn’t actually exist. They might tell you to be more selective and to settle for a guy who is pretty average.
While you do need to exert a degree of realism on your search for Mr Right, you should strike the right balance between realism and idealism. You still want a good guy, but maybe it’s time to stop pining after the dream guy. There is a difference between having high expectations and fantastical expectations.
2. Stop Delaying
Got a response from a guy on a dating website but haven’t responded yet? Perhaps you’re just not too sure about this one?
Our advice here is to stop delaying and to get replying. The longer you put off returning emails or phone calls, the greater the risk that they will go and find someone else.
If you’re hesitant about a guy, it means that you are attracted to him. Otherwise, you’d have ruled him out straight away. So stop making him wait and get chatting!
3. Make Time
Lots of women sabotage their love life because they simply don’t put aside enough time for it. It may well be that you have a career that forces you to sometimes work 6 days a week. Aside from work, organising your home life and looking after your pets, you might just not have the time to meet a guy before getting to know him.
It’s time to make time for a man. It’s time to start clearing things from your schedule and putting the focus on you and your needs. If you’re working too many hours, cut down on your hours. Make sure that you are free for a date during the week, rather than “busy with work”.
4. Don’t Cling
Clingy lovers scare the heck out of men who aren’t needy or clingy themselves. If you start dating a man you can’t stop texting, phoning and emailing, you’re going to quickly sabotage whatever you have. He’ll get worried that you’re rushing things, and he may well break it off.
So rather than share your fantasies of moving in with him after a week of knowing him, play it cool. Take it easy and let loose. Give the relationship time to breathe. If you both like each other, things will work out just fine. Don’t force it.
5. Be Positive
Very few guys want to date a moody girl who is sullen and abrasive. They don’t want to hear you put a dampener on their suggestions. If they want to hit a bar and you say “bars suck, they’re crowded, loud, they stink, and I hate the women who wear such short skirts, who do they think they are, OMG” they’re going to quickly get the picture that you pretty much don’t like anything.
It’s time to start being positive about life and embracing new things. Smile, laugh and enjoy yourself.
6. Don’t Talk About Your Ex-Lover
A very easy way of sabotaging your love life is to keep blabbering on and on and on and on about your ex-lover.
No guy wants to hear about your ex. They don’t want to hear the story of the time he almost set fire to your kitchen, while heating up toast five times. It just sends out the impression that you’re not over the guy. Worse still, it turns your date into a free counselling session!
Leave your past behind. Move on, and never bring up your ex-lovers to a new man.
7. Avoid Guys In A Relationship
Most of us have been attracted to guys who are unavailable. Whether it’s your boss, your best friend’s friend, the guy who serves you coffee every morning, or Leonardo Di Caprio, you’ve no doubt wondered what life would be like, if only something would go wrong with their relationship.
But what can happen is that you start to rule out other guys. You spend days, weeks, months thinking about his unavailable dude. You crush really hard, dwelling on them and refusing to get out of bed because he’s with someone else. It’s time to stop thinking about unavailable guys and to move on. Shift your focus.
8. Stop Looking For A Soul Mate
Some people believe that soul mates exist, but others believe they don’t. A few decades ago, your grandma probably got together with a guy who was local, could build a fence, and knew how to protect his woman. They were happy and that was great. She certainly had no designs on meeting a chap in Peru through Facebook.
These days, though, everyone is obsessed with the idea of finding their soul mate. Yes, it’s romantic, but trying to find yours can lead to huge disappointment. It’s best to just cast aside all illusions of a soul mate and just see what happens instead.
9. You’re In Friend Zone Hell
We’ve all fancied one of our friends. You know how it goes: you’ve been buddies with a guy since Uni. He’s cute, talented and seems like your type. But you’re mates. You drink together in groups, care for each other and respect each other too much to even consider leaning in for a kiss. It’s just the way it is. You’re friends and that’s that.
But sometimes you can get trapped in friend zone hell, if you like a guy. You can tear your hair out when he gets another girlfriend and tells you all about her. Sometimes it’s best to just come out and use a subtle phrase, such as “I like you” to let him know that you want to be more than just good friends.
10. Trust People
Some women will admit that they don’t trust men. They’re paranoid that the guy is just using them, and will depart once he has added another notch to his belt.
This kind of distrust is hard to overcome, but it’s necessary if you’re going to stop sabotaging your relationship. He needs you to trust him. Otherwise, he’s going to remain at arms length all the time.