10 Tips on how to protect yourself from heartbreaks
Unless you are willing to isolate yourself completely and never form a bond with any other human being, you are likely to experience heartbreak at some time in your life. That, though, is very unlikely, because human beings are naturally very sociable, and there is so much to be gained from relationships. Is heartbreak just something we have to live with, or can we take steps to at least minimise the pain? Fortunately, there are steps that you can take to stop having to have your heart broken too many times, and to make those heartbreaks that you do experience less painful. Here are ten tips on how to protect your heart from heartbreak.
1. Don’t expect that every man you meet will be the one you marry
The first thing you can do, to make love and the heartbreaks that often come with it a little easier to bear, is to avoid rushing into new relationships and avoid blindly trusting every guy you meet. Fairy-tale romances are beautiful to believe in and you can hold a happy image of your future in mind, but don’t expect that every man you meet will be one you settle down with and marry. Life is never quite as simple, as it is in the movies, so listen to your heart as well as your mind, and you won’t be so disappointed if things don’t work out.
2. Use your head, as well as your heart
It is hard not to let your heart rule your head when you fall in love, but you really should try and find a balance if you can. Dating is not only about the great nights out and the fun time. If you are serious about a guy, then it’s about your future too. Try and take a cold, analytical look at the people you date and ask yourself, is he really the man I want to spend the rest of my life with?
3. Don’t settle for less than you deserve
You can’t sit on the side-lines, turning down everyone that you meet, but you have the right to be a little bit picky! Don’t jump into serious relationships with guys that you are unsure about and keep your eyes open for their faults. You should only be making commitments to men you are absolutely crazy about, so don’t settle for second best just because you don’t want to be on your own.
4. Don’t let love blind you to the truth
Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it doesn’t mend a broken heart. Don’t ignore he signs that he might be fooling around. It’s so easy to blind yourself to the obvious signs that a guy is messing you around. You tell yourself that ‘he wouldn’t’, ‘he couldn’t’ and ‘it’s not happening’. If you think that your man is playing away, then ask him for the truth, because if you ignore it, it will only make the inevitable breakup even more painful when it comes.
5. Don’t rush into things
Take things steady, even when you think you have met the One. If you go from first kiss, to moving in with him, within a few days, you are likely to be very disappointed. The idea of whirlwind romances sounds wonderful, but they rarely go the distance. If he really is the One, then he’s not going to mind you taking things slowly at first.
6. Talk about the relationship
When you are starting to feel that the relationship could be really going places, make sure that he feels the same way. Try and find out what his plans for the future are, and tell him how you are feeling about the relationship. You don’t want to find yourself saying: ‘But I thought you wanted the same things as I do’.
7. Keep your options open, especially in the earlier stages of a relationship
While cheating or flirting with other guys is never a good idea, you shouldn’t exclude all other members of the opposite sex from your life, just because you are in love with someone. It sounds a bit callous to say, keep your options open, but you really should, especially in the earlier stages of a relationship. You don’t have to completely alienate other men, because you’ve just met Mr Right; just let them know that you are not available, at the moment.
8. Don’t forget your friends
Your friends will be there for you through any number of different relationships, so long as you don’t dump all your friends the moment you fall in love. It’s healthy to have friends outside of a relationship anyway, so stay in touch with them and go out with them sometimes. Don’t make one man your entire world, however much you love him.
9. Listen to what other people are saying
You can date whoever you want, but it is still wise to listen to what other people say about your man. If your friends and family don’t seem to like your guy, there could be very good reasons for that. Sometimes, people who are not in the relationship can see far more, than the person who is in love.
10. Don’t lose sight of your own goals
Love is great; it’s a wonderful feeling, but it shouldn’t be the only thing in your life. Keep your hobbies, interests and follow your own dreams, because you are more than just the other half of a relationship. Your life is your own and, so long as you never lose sight of that, you will always have something else to concentrate on, if love doesn’t quite work out the way you had hoped it would.
Stay happy, love and be loved!