10 Tips on how to improve your marriage without talking about it

The title of the book by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny, “How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking about It”, sounds a bit confusing, when we all know the importance of good communication in a relationship. But, when you take a closer look it does make sense, because men are just not that comfortable talking about relationship issues. Instead, the book suggests, a marriage can be improved by more indirect methods that bring people closer, without the deep and meaningful conversations that guys find so hard. Here is a list of just ten of the ways that you can improve a marriage, without talking about it.

1. Understand your partner’s moods

Becoming more aware of your partner’s mood is just the first step towards improving your marriage. Watch for the clues, like not making eye contact or sitting in silence and don’t choose these moments to open up a conversation, wait until they are in a good mood and more willing to communicate.

2. Express your affection

You can show your affection without talking. Holding hands, a gentle run on the shoulder and smiling are all ways of using body language to do the communication. Show your affections daily and they will begin to realise how much you care.

3. Leave them gifts

Showing your love through small gifts will bring you closer together too. Love notes or other gifts can be left in places where your partner will find them. This is a very personal way of showing affection that will, over time, make the marriage stronger.

4. Apologise, when you are wrong

Admitting you are wrong is a way of indirectly showing your love. In fact, saying ‘sorry’ can be just as powerful, as saying ‘I love you’.

5. Laugh more often

Laughing is contagious, so give it a go. Even if things are really tense in a marriage, if you can laugh at problems, it will make them seem smaller for both of you. Laughing will relax the mood and, if you can laugh together, you will become much closer.

6. Help each other with chores

Not sharing chores can be a big cause of tension in any relationship. Offer to share the chores or help your partner with his/hers. Showing your partner that you don’t expect them to do things alone will help to remove any bad feelings and it gives you an opportunity to share more time together.

7. Always show a united front

You can’t possibly agree on everything all the time, but it is important not to disagree with each other in public. To the outside world, you should appear united and you should not be contradicting or correcting one another in front of other people. That would be embarrassing for one of you, and it can cause a lot of resentment later.

8. Don’t always be too busy for each other

Making time for each other is an important way to make a stronger partnership. If you are constantly too busy to talk to each other, or do things together, then you will become more detached from each other, which won’t contribute to a better and happier marriage.

9. Do new and exciting things

You can think that you are bored with the person, when what you are really bored with is doing the same old things, over and over again.  Go out on dates, to places that you have never been before and it will bring back the excitement in the relationship.

10. Fight fair

If your relationship has become a bit stale, then it is quite likely that you are fighting with your partner, even over the silliest of things. Try not to shout and lose temper, because this will not help at all. Instead, try and resolve issues in a calm way and sometimes be prepared to compromise too.

Do you have some other relationship tips on how to improve a marriage without talking about it?

Stay happy!

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