10 Tips On How To Handle Ending A Long Term Relationship
It’s tough when anything comes to an end. But arguably the toughest thing to bring the curtains down on is a relationship.
Even if you consider yourself to be the toughest cookie in the world who can jump out of planes, get punched in the mouth and get right back up, or who can take the worst insults without flinching, ending a relationship and not feeling super emotional is impossible. In this article, Beauty and Tips hopes to help you out with 10 tips on how to handle ending a long term relationship.
Look, even ending a short term relationship is hard. You’ve only been dating for a month, you’ve not even been on holiday together, and still you can’t bring yourself to have “the talk.”
But ending a long term relationship where you both gave your all for months, and years? That’s on another level.
It’s really hard to look the other person in the face and tell them it’s over – especially when you know they weren’t expecting this.
Giving any kind of bad news is something none of us want to do. But there comes a time when you need out of your relationship. You need to move on, and you need to have that talk.
If you’re preparing to break up with your partner, here are 10 tips on how to handle ending a long term relationship.
Know Your Reasons
Do you know what your reasons are for breaking up with your partner? Are you sure about them in your head?
When you know your reasons for doing this, the breakup becomes a bit easier. It doesn’t become easy, but it gives you the confidence to know you are doing the right thing. It also helps you to stand up and be brave when your partner asks for a second chance.
Be Realistic About This
It’s important that you don’t have expectations that this is going to go well. It might go well, and your partner might tell you they saw this coming, and that they agree with you.
More likely than not, however, they will protest. There will be tears. There will be recriminations. There will be pleas. There will be “I can change”s. You need to prepare for the worst possible reaction. Be realistic about how it’s going to go. Be ready for a wild ride of emotions.
Don’t expect the best results. Expect the worst so that you’re mentally ready to handle them. Otherwise, you might crumble and give your partner the second chance they want.
Your partner will likely beg for a second chance. They might salt themselves (and your shoulder) with tears, and they might remind you of all the good times you had together.
You might find your lip quivering, and there’ll probably be a lump in your throat. But you’re almost there, and you have to keep going. Remember, you’re breaking up with them for a reason. Be assertive, stick to your guns and see it through to the end.
Do It At The Right Time
There is a right and a wrong time to break up with someone who you’ve been with for a long time. The least they deserve is for you to break up with them at an opportune moment.
For example, don’t break up with them when you know they’ve got something important coming up later that day, or the day after. It’s only going to knock them out of their stride. Sure, you can’t be responsible for their emotions, but you should have some respect for them.
Don’t give them the bad news just as they return home from work, exhausted. Be fair to them, and pick the right moment. Choose a time when you both have plenty of time to talk this out. Don’t text them that it’s over. Pick a time when you’re both free.
Tell Everyone Else
Once the breakup is done, you then you have to tell those close to you. Don’t leave them in the dark about it. Don’t let them find out on social media. They deserve to know. Be open about it, and explain exactly why you did it. People might tell you to give the relationship a second chance, so be strong and firm.
Have A “What Happens Next?” Plan Ready
Once the breakup is over, what do you plan to do next? It’s important you know your next steps, so that you don’t do something you soon regret.
If you’ve ever witnessed a messy breakup in a movie, you probably noticed how close things come to an out-and-out brawl. And this is what happens when people break up with someone while they’re angry. Nasty things can get said, and people can get really hurt. For this reason alone it’s important that you have the conversation with your partner while you’re feeling calm.
Don’t enter the room in a bad mood. Wait for the right moment. Otherwise, you might find yourself yelling and pointing the finger.
Just Be Honest
It’s temping to bend the truth a little in order to save your partner from as much hurt as possible. You don’t want to point out their mistakes, so instead you deflect and say you’re breaking up for another reason.
“It’s not you, it’s me.”
But when you skirt around the issue and don’t get to the truth, you’re not showing them any respect. They’re adults who can handle more than you might think.
Secondly, if you’re dishonest about your reasons for breaking up, you’re giving them the chance to persuade you not to break up with them.
“Oh, you’re breaking up with me because you want to move for your career? I’ll move too!”
At which point, you then have to get to the truth.
Just be honest from the start. Don’t leave them with questions as to what went wrong. Pull up your big girl pants and give it to them straight.
Don’t Speak Ill Of Your Ex
After the breakup, it’s not cool to disrespect your ex by speaking bad of them. If you must talk about them, be positive. It’s good for karma and for your own positive vibes and energy.
Take Some Time Out
Lastly, don’t rush into your next relationship. You might think you’re over your ex, but it may soon become apparent that you’re not. Give yourself some time to heal. Take a break, enjoy being single. Go for long walks and think about what you want in your next partner.