10 Tips on how to forgive someone who has hurt you
Forgiving someone who has really hurt you can be a hard thing to do, especially when that someone was a person that you really trusted. It is a deep wound indeed, when someone that you love hurts you, but you have to learn to forgive, if you ever want to mend that relationship or even just move forward on your own. Forgiveness is a sign of strength though, not weakness, because being angry and bitter is far easier, than being to forgive and forget, so if you want to make a move towards forgiving someone who has hurt you, here’s ten ways to help you start:
1. Give it some time
Forgiveness is not an instant thing and very few people are that saintly. Even the most forgiving type of person is going to be angry for a bit, if someone just poked him in the eye with a stick! But time is a great healer, so give it a while, there’s certainly no point in hanging onto anger and bitterness forever.
2. Remember how important forgiveness would be to you
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and think how important forgiveness would be, if you had made the mistake. Forgiving does not in any way mean that you are saying that what the other person did was OK, but it will allow you both to move on.
3. Talk to someone about it
Another tip on how to forgive someone who has hurt you is – talk to someone that you trust and get another perspective on the matter. Getting some of that anger off your chest will help you to understand the situation better and it may make you feel more forgiving.
4. Do listen to their side of the story
Sometimes anger can cloud our view and it may be anger that is getting in the way of your accepting this as just a mistake. Give the person who has wronged you a chance to tell you their side of the story. What they did may well still be wrong, but it might help you to understand why they did what they did, if you listen.
5. Take a step back
Our next tip on how to forgive someone who has hurt you is – try looking at things from the outside in and get a new perspective on the situation. Work out why this happened and try and see if what the person did was deliberate or intentional. When you take a step back, you might find that it’s just not worth the effort being angry and holding a grudge, and then forgiveness might be easier.
6. Make things clear and talk to them about how you feel
Once you have had the time to calm down a bit, tell the other person how they made you feel. This is important to both of you. For you, it gets the emotions out in the open and for the other person, it explains to them why you feel so hurt by their actions.
7. Forgiveness is in your hands alone
Forgiveness is a choice to be made or not. People who say they can never forgive someone are missing the point; it is their choice and their choice alone, whether or not to forgive. When you forgive, you do it for yourself, and if you hold onto bitterness forever it will only hurt you, non-one else.
8. Look for the positives
Another tip on how to forgive someone who has hurt you is – look for something positive in this situation. There are positive things to be learned from a situation that has hurt you. It might teach you to be stronger, it might teach you to be less reliant on other people. If you can find the positives in the situation, you will find out far easier to forgive a person.
9. Understand why it is good to forgive
You don’t forgive because it means that you are taking the higher moral ground or because what the other person did wasn’t wrong. You forgive because it is good for you. Holding on to negative thoughts, of any kind, will bring you down. So don’t give them that satisfaction!
10. Think about the future
Start thinking about the future, with or without the person that has hurt you, and you will find it easier to forgive. If you want to try again, then you will have to forgive and, if you want to move on without them, you will need to let this hurt go. Either way, forgiving will let you begin that process quicker.
How to forgive someone who has hurt you? Do you have some other thoughts to share?