10 Tips on How to Fight Fair With Your Partner
Every relationship faces conflicts from time to time. Learning how to deal with those conflicts in a fair manner will make for a happier partnership. If you’re wondering how you can fight fair, then here are 10 tips on how to fight properly with your partner:
1. Don’t let things build up
If you have an issue then talk to your partner as soon as you can. Letting those niggles build up into something bigger than they are will result in unwanted tension or an explosive argument. However, don’t try to resolve an issue at a time when your partner doesn’t want to. If they are tired or have been through a hard and stressful day at work, then attempting to solve a conflict may result in further anger and disagreements.
2. Let each other put their point across
If you’re having a disagreement with your partner, allow them a chance to have their say. What do they think about the situation? Let your partner have equal time to put their feelings across to you. Listen to their viewpoints in a calm and respectful manner and try to understand their point of view.
3. Learn to negotiate and find a compromise
Have an agreement that neither one of you will ‘win’ an argument. If you feel that your partner is wrong, still allow them to have their say. Share your feelings too but accept that you might not be ultimately correct all the time, nor will your partner agree with your viewpoints every time you express them. Look for compromise and find an agreement.
4. Look for common ground
Despite having a disagreement with your partner, look for things that you both agree with, your common ground. Use these agreements as a starting point to solve your issue.
5. Don’t include third parties
Keep the disagreement between the two of you. Don’t include third parties, like family members and friends in the conversation, especially avoid involving children. Try to resolve the issue together and don’t let anyone else become involved.
6. Respect, care and love each other, no matter what
Respect each other and remember about your love during the disagreement. Never allow yourself to use inappropriate language or threatening behaviour. Keep a focus on the issue and don’t use it as an assessment of each other’s character. Using name calling or comments that will hurt each other’s feeling won’t help to solve a conflict and may build up more tension. Put your love first. Always.
7. Keep calm and speak in a soft tone of voice
Try to keep calm during a disagreement. Speak in soft tone, rather than shouting at each other. You’re more likely to hear each other’s viewpoints clearly if you both respect one another and talk in a normal tone.
8. Know what the issue is
Keep a clear focus on what the issue being discussed is. Try to keep the disagreement on one issue and not on several. If you have several disagreements, try to set aside a time and date for a meeting to work on those other issues. Solving one conflict at a time is more likely to provide a resolution between the two of you.
9. Cool off
After a fight, make sure you both have time for a cooling off period. Some couples prefer to not go to sleep on an argument but that doesn’t always work for every couple. It’s ok to take some time out from the situation to cool down and collect your thoughts. If this works better for you, agree to return to the issue at a later date, if it’s still unresolved in order to stop the conflict from building up.
10. Learn from it. Learn to apologise, forgive and forget
Resolving conflicts and understanding what areas we need to work on, either individually or as a couple can make us stronger in the long run. Having a healthy and happy relationship depends on communication and compromise. Be willing to forgive one another and allow each other to apologise for mistakes. Allow yourself to grow from conflict resolution and use the positives to help resolve future disagreements.
Do you have some other tips on how to fight fair?