10 Tips On How To Deal With A Crush At Work
Crushes were hard enough to deal with when you were at school. But how the heck do you handle a crush at work?
Crushes are a part of life, and they can happen anywhere. One day we might be wistfully crushing on a Hollywood movie star, and the next we might be crushing on our house mate. And the nearer the crush is, the more awkward and frustrating things get!
Office romances happen, but crushing on a colleague can get really messy. After all, this is the person you have to work with. What happens when you can’t control yourself any longer and fire off emails to clients with his name in them?
Things can get even worse if you see him flirting with Janet from Human Resources. Talk about being jealous!
(Though they get much worse if he flirts with Bob from HR – now that wasn’t supposed to happen!)
And you know what’s also annoying? When your colleagues find out about your crush and start teasing you. URGH.
Dealing with a crush at work is not easy, but here are 10 top tips.
Remain Professional At All Times
Perhaps the biggest danger of a work-placed crush is that things can get so out of hand that – between both of you if the feeling is mutual – that occasionally you forget where you are, and do things that are unprofessional and risky.
In fact, they’re so unprofessional and risky that they could cause you to lose your job.
However you feel about your crush, you must at all times remember that you’re in work and have a job to do. If you let your emotions get on top of you, it could to you doing some things you really shouldn’t – including sending cheeky texts and emails throughout the day to him that could land you both in a spot of bother with the boss.
Let Them Know How You Feel
It’s important that you let your crush know how you feel as soon as possible. This isn’t a playground crush anymore where we’re embarrassed to let our friends know that we like boys.
“Jane likes boys!”
You’re an adult now, and you’re beyond such issues. Right? So let him know when the time is right how you feel.
Otherwise, you’re going to remain distracted and wondering if the feeling is mutual. And this can put you off your work.
(let’s just hope your boss doesn’t sing “Jane likes boys!”)
Don’t Be A Doormat
Another issue with work based crushes is when the other person knows about the crush … and decides to use it to their advantage.
You know how it is: All of a sudden, you’re correcting their emails for them and bringing them coffee because they’re “super busy”.
You’re even filling in for them when they can’t stay late.
Eventually, you’re pretending to be them when they’ve stayed at home in bed.
If you sense this is happening, put a stop to it. Let them know you like them and would like a date with them, but that you’re certainly not here to worship them.
Don’t Give Anything Away
If you don’t want anyone else in the office to know about your crush (because the childish teasing can be horrible), it’s important that you try really hard not to give it away.
This isn’t easy. Office workers have evolved in such a way that they’re VERY good at sniffing out a crush. Whether it’s the way you just glanced over at your crush as he printed something out, or the way you just smiled to yourself when he finally arrived to the office, these telltale signs are often done unconsciously – but they’re dead giveaways. Be very careful.
Tell A Friend
It’s really not a good idea to let your colleagues know about your crush (because when together in packs, office workers can be merciless), but it IS a good idea to tell a friend who doesn’t work with you.
Coping with work based crushes is not easy, and it’s even harder when you’re doing it alone. So talk to a friend who may have some salient advice for you on how to handle the situation.
If possible, seek out someone who’s been in a similar situation before you.
Stay Focused On Your Work
It’s difficult to remain focused if you really fancy him but aren’t fully sure about your feelings – or his.
And how do you react when you hear him talking about a great date he went on last night?
However, you have work to do. Try to focus as much as possible on your job. The other aspects of your life can be sorted out in due time, and the last thing you want to do is fall badly behind because of a crush that ends up going no where.
Try To Be Realistic
How hot is your crush? What’s his relationship status? Is he married? Does he have kids? How much older or younger is he than you?
Basically, is there any chance that you guys are going to get together? If there isn’t, it’s important that you keep yourself grounded as much as possible. Once you start fantasising about him, you become emotionally involved. And if he is ultimately out of bounds, it’s only going to lead to heartbreak. And this can have a detrimental impact on your performance at work.
Comply With Company Policy
If the company forbids its coworkers to date, you should comply. Otherwise, you’re just endangering the job. And is it really worth it?
Remember That The Grass Isn’t Always Greener
If you’re already in a relationship and are crushing on someone in the office, you’re in an even more awkward situation.
The problems occur whenever our relationship is hitting a rocky patch and the guy we’re crushing on represents something different. He represents a bit of escape. We start to fantasise a Bonnie and Clyde-esque relationship with him. Being with him, who is clearly so cool and free, would be much better than staying with our boring partner.
If you start feeling like this, check yourself. The grass is not always greener on the other side. The life you’re dreaming about with your crush is not a reality. Is it worth throwing away a relationship for a fantasy?
Let’s say he knows about your crush and tells you the feeling is mutual. He then kisses you when no one’s looking and suggests you two go somewhere more private, such as the bathroom.
If you don’t feel comfortable with this (because it could land you in big trouble) let him know. Set your boundaries as soon as possible.