10 Tips On How To Cope With Being Single And Feeling Lonely
As I write this, Christmas has just ended and the new year has just begun. But while these are special times for many of us, for anyone who is single, they can be tinged with sadness. Fortunately, there are ways to cope with being single and feeling lonely.
Everyone has suffered loneliness at some point or another, even those who are in otherwise happy relationships. But we feel loneliness much more acutely when we’re single.
Especially, if you’ve been single for quite some time, the pain of loneliness can begin to really eat away at you. Returning home night after night to an empty house is not nice, and it can be made worse when you see photographs on Facebook of your friends with their partners. You want what they have: You want someone to ask how your day was, hold your hand, and cuddle you at night.
If you’re not doing too well at the moment, here are 10 tips on how to cope with being single and feeling lonely.
Realise That Loneliness Is A Feeling That Can Be Overcome
Loneliness is often a state of mind, a feeling as opposed to a fact. Many of us feel lonely even when we are around other people. This is because we don’t feel lonely because are isolated and cut-off; we feel lonely because something has triggered us.
This trigger could be a sad memory or a photograph, or it could be ourselves dwelling on the fact that we still haven’t found that special someone.
But loneliness – like anxiety – is a feeling that comes and goes.
Analyse why it is that you’ve been feeling so lonely recently. Why are you so focused on being single at the moment? Look for triggers and then accept that loneliness is a feeling that comes and goes because you are doing battle with it. Accept that it’s a temporary feeling which will go away if you let it.
Listen To Positive Music
A couple of years ago, when I was feeling really down, one of the best pieces of advice I got from my therapist was also one of the simplest: Each morning, listen to a favourite song that will make me feel good.
I did it. And you know what? It worked. That song became my mantra, my cue to a great day.
It might sound simple, but good, positive music really can change your mood and stop you from feeling so lonely. Get up and dance in your own home like no one’s watching.
If you’re single and feeling lonely, show the world exactly what it’s missing! Grow your knowledge base. Treat yourself to a new hair cut and some new clothes. Be the best you can be at all times. Give yourself some confidence and get yourself prepared for when Mr Right comes along.
One of the reasons why begin to feel lonely when we’re single is that we tell ourselves that everyone is happy in their relationships and has no time for us anymore. So we retreat ever further into our bubble and grow reclusive.
Not only is this unhealthy, but it exacerbates our loneliness. And the truth is that your friends DO have time for you. They’re just waiting for you to get in touch and ask them to go out and do something.
They won’t always be available, of course. But it’s important that you stay in touch with people and ask them to hang out. Don’t hide yourself away just because you’re not in a relationship.
Examine Your Habits
When we’re single and feeling lonely, it can be very easy to feel sorry for ourselves. And when we start doing this, we indulge in habits that just make things worse. For example, perhaps we cut ourselves off from other people, make dramatic statuses on Facebook, gorge on chocolate, or even take time off work because we can’t face the world.
How is this helping you? It isn’t. It’s enhancing your loneliness.
Take a look at your habits. The chances are that you’re practising a lot of bad ones right now that you need to lose.
Take Up Some Good Habits
It’s not enough that you simply lose your bad habits – you should make an effort to swap them for positive ones.
Instead of staying indoors all the time, go outside and see people.
Instead of gorging on chocolate, go to the gym. Exercise. Get fit.
Instead of taking another day off work, find a reason to get up in the morning and go to work. Find your motivation. Do something that inspires you.
Make The Most Of The Single Life
What are some things you can do while single that you wouldn’t be able to do if you were in a relationship? I can think of a few: Go without make-up all day, pig-out with a box seat, wear pyjamas from morning until night, watch rubbish television and so on and so on.
Mr Right will come around eventually. For now, make the most of the single life.
Take Up A New Hobby
If your current hobby involves solitary activity, such as sewing, it might be a good idea to take up a hobby that involves teamwork.
For example, you could go to a cooking class and learn to cook with other people. This gets you out of the house and into the company of other people, and encourages to interact with them.
There are lots of hobbies you can take up that will help you to take your mind off the fact that you’re single. And lots of them – including the cooking classes – can give you the opportunity to potentially meet new guys.
All the money you’re making right now is for you. You don’t have to worry about saving for a mortgage with a guy, a vacation or kids – it’s all for you. So why not spend like there’s no tomorrow? Treat yourself! You deserve it.
Get A Pet
This one is a bit of a last resort. You should only get a pet if you love animals and are willing to look after one even when you do end up in a relationship again. A pet is not simply to fill in the gap between boyfriends, but is meant to be a new friend for life that reminds you of how great companionship is.
If you want a temporary lift, a goldfish can work wonders.