10 Tips on how to avoid starting a romance with the wrong person

You can’t help falling in love, no one can, but what happens if you fall in love with the wrong type of person? Well love really can make us blind and for many people, that blindness doesn’t lift until it has become way too late and they have made commitments or even gotten married. Now that’s when the real problems begin, when you are deep into a relationship and the realisation dawns on you that this romance is with the wrong person. It can be hard to think logically, when you’re head over heels in love, but here are ten tips on how to spot that romance with the wrong person from happening, before you are in too deep:

1. Know yourself and trust your inner voice

We all do it, we know that that last chocolate in the box is one too many, but we ignore our inner voice that is telling us not to and we go for that one-too-many chocolate anyway! That’s not so bad, when it’s just a chocolate, but ignoring the warning signs in a relationship can lead to dire consequences. Don’t ignore the nagging doubts, listen to them and think about them, before you make any commitment.

2. Think character, not just chemistry

That instant and burning chemistry that you feel about someone is not all that takes to create a long lasting and caring relationship. You need to think about the character traits of a person too, no matter how much you love or are infatuated with them. Will they actually make a good, long term partner, once that fire has burned down a bit?

3. Listen to your friends and family

It may be hard to accept and you may think that it’s just jealousy on their part, but it’s worth listening to what your friends and family have to say. If other people are saying negative things about your partner, then they might have a point. Sometimes it is easier for them to see things that you have missed, because they can take a more detached, third party view of the situation.

4. Always play hard to get

The chase is all part of the fun and it can prove how serious a person really is about you. If they only want you for all the wrong reasons, then they will soon give up and move on to easier prey, so playing hard to get can be a good test of their intentions.

5. Don’t expect to be able to change a person

Often people enter into romances knowing that their partner has faults, but expecting them to change. Remember, a leopard can’t change its spots, so don’t expect that you can mould a person into something different, just by settling down with them.

6. Make sure that your life pans coincide

You have to make compromises in a relationship, but there are some things that people are not prepared to give up, even for the sake of love. Make sure that your plans for the future can work together and don’t brush important differences under the carpet, thinking that they will go away.

7. Don’t expect a free spirit to settle down overnight

If you meet someone who has been a free spirit all their life and never had any intention of settling down, before they met you, then be careful! It might sound romantic, for someone to say that they will settle down, only because they met you, but is it realistic? They could end up having second thoughts later or be left with the feeling that you trapped them.

8. Make sure that you trust them.

There should be no doubt in your mind at all that you can trust your partner and if you do have any doubt then you should be questioning whether this person is right for a long term relationship. They could be the most wonderful person on the face of the planet, but, if deep down you don’t trust them, that feeling may never go away and it might be proven to be for a good reason.

9. Never get in too deep with someone who tries to control you

A controlling personality may be the sign of an abusive personality. It may appear quite innocent at first, wanting you to dress in a certain way or getting angry when they don’t quite get their own way. No one has the right to tell you how you should behave and what you can and cannot do, so be wary of even the slightest signs of this kind of personality which could be signs of things to come.

10. Never settle for less than the best

Never enter a relationship with a feeling of ‘this is the best I can get’. You, like everyone, have the right to happiness and you will, one day, find the right person for romance. So get to know a person, inside and out, before you make a commitment, so that you don’t find yourself stuck in a relationship with the wrong person.

How to avoid starting a romance with the wrong person? Do you have some other tips?

Stay happy!

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