10 Things you should consider before breaking up with him
The decision to split up with a partner is a big one and, usually, once you’ve done it, there is no going back. There may well be perfectly good reasons for breaking up with a guy but, if you’re taking the time to read this, then, perhaps you, are not quite sure about it yet. Before you pack your bags, or throw his possessions out on the pavement, consider these ten points to make sure that you are not about to do something that you will later regret.
1. Is he abusive?
Let’s save you some time. If your partner is abusing you physically, then don’t waste your time reading any further, shut down your computer and go. Remember that abuse can be mental too. If he is controlling, giving you constant verbal abuse or constantly insulting you and running you down, then it’s the same advice. Get out of there now, catch up with us next time and read one of our ‘how to find a real man’ articles!
2. Is this a knee-jerk reaction?
Is your decision to dump your guy based on an instant reaction to a particular event? If the answer is ‘yes’, then think about it a little more. Our instant reactions are often the wrong ones, so give yourself some time to calm down before you make a decision.
3. Is he the real problem, or is it something else?
Dumping your man can be, what you think is, the answer to all your problems. Perhaps you are bored with where your life is going or just think that things have become stale. If so, then can you talk to your boyfriend and address these things together. He may be bored too, and all you need to do is make a little more effort together.
4. Is your relationship a good one most of the time?
No relationship can be 100% happy. Take the time to work out if you are happy more often, than you are not and then, decide if it’s worth losing the happy times, as well as the bad.
5. Have you really tried to make it work?
Relationships have become a bit too disposable in recent years and it’s easy to take the attitude of hey, this one’s not perfect, so I’ll try another. Long lasting relationships take a bit more work than that, so be sure that you are comfortable and that you have tried to make it work, before you go your separate ways.
6. Is this your own decision?
Is this really you thinking that you want to end your relationship or is it because someone else has told you that you should. Sometimes even friendly advice can be the wrong advice and sometimes there might be an ulterior motive to the advice that is given. Be very wary of a man-friend telling you that you should dump your boyfriend, perhaps he just wants a chance of romance with you.
7. Do you want to live without him or do you want him to change?
Is he really the problem or is what he has become the problem? People change over time and sometimes they become complacent in a relationship. If you haven’t already done so, then consider talking to him about the things that you would like to change. He may not even realise that you are unhappy and may want to change for you.
8. Do you love him?
Do you really love your man or have you just got so used to having him around that you can’t visualize life without him? The honeymoon period never lasts forever, but the love can. If, though, you simply don’t love your guy anymore, then it might well be time to move on. In the long run, you are probably doing him a favor as well, by giving you both the chance for a fresh start.
9. Are you already living separate lives?
It could be that the only thing that you share with your partner is the same roof over your heads. Love doesn’t have to end with a bang, it can just fizzle out and you can wake up one day and realize that you are no longer doing anything together. If you are sure that there is nothing that you can do or nothing that you want to do together with your partner, then it’s time to move on.
10. Just be sure before you jump ship
No one should stay in an unhappy relationship but, many people do end relationships prematurely, because they are going through a rough patch. It’s important to be sure in your own mind that you are making the right decision, because, for most people, once taken, this decision is irreversible and second thoughts will count for nothing.
Do you have other relationship advice to share? Feel free to leave a comment in the section below.