10 Things you can do instead of nagging your man
Do this. Do that. Why haven’t you done it yet? We all want to get jobs done around the home, but are you in danger of letting your nagging damage your relationship? Most guys aren’t exactly proactive when it comes to doing the chores, we all know that, and they might need a gentle reminder. But, when those reminders become nagging, it’s unpleasant for the man and research has shown that it’s no fun for the nagger either. There are better ways of getting your man to do the things you want him to do, so read on, and you will find ten more productive things you can do, rather than nagging your man.
1. Don’t insist that things should be done to your timetable
You’ll get a lot more done for you if you let him do the chores when he is ready. If you insist that everything be done straight away, he is more likely to resist doing any of the jobs that need doing. Try pointing out what needs doing, but don’t give him deadlines. He will then be more likely to fit those jobs in into his own schedule.
2. Be clear about what is that needs doing
Make sure that your man knows what needs doing and how important it is that it gets done. If you want him to go and get the groceries, does he know what to buy? You might think that it’s obvious what chores need doing and by when, but if you don’t tell him clearly what is needed, he may well get it wrong and you have another argument on your hands.
3. Soften your approach
You can turn a demand into a request by simply softening some of the words that you use. You could, for example, say: “The trash needs taking out” and leave it at that. Or, you could use far less combative words like: “When you’ve got a moment, could you take the trash out for me please.” It’s the same request, but one doesn’t sound at all like you are nagging.
4. Acknowledge what he does do
If you show a bit of gratitude for what he does, that will also go a long way towards keeping the peace. Everyone likes to know that they are appreciated, so saying thanks, or complimenting him when he does a good job, will make him far more likely to get jobs done faster in the future.
5. See things from his point of view
It also helps if you acknowledge that he may well be busy doing something else, or that he doesn’t like doing a certain chore. Showing him that you do understand why a job hasn’t been done and asking nicely to get it done, will come across a lot better than demanding to know why the job hasn’t been finished yet.
6. Share chores out based on personal preferences
You know what he hates doing and he should know what you dislike too, so why not sit down and share out the chores between you based on what you would both prefer to do. You can also look at what your priorities are. You might hate to cook in a messy kitchen so cleaning the kitchen becomes your responsibility. He might have a thing about messy bathrooms, so he gets that job.
7. Don’t criticise what he has done
This is an infuriating habit that many people have. You nag your man about clearing up after himself in the kitchen and then, when he does do it, you nag him again because the dishes weren’t clean enough and everything was put back in the wrong place! Men and women are equally guilty of doing this, but if you ask your partner to do something, you can’t expect them to do it exactly the same way as you would have done it. If you ever want him to do that chore again, thank him for doing it this time and then, if you really have to, secretly put it back the way you want it later.
8. Don’t overload him with chores that you want done
If he is busy doing something else, don’t give the whole list of jobs that need doing in one go. If you do, he is more likely to think that it will be impossible to please you, so he will do none of them! Drip-feed him with your requests, one at a time, with the most important task first. That way, he won’t feel like he is being put upon.
9. Break him down with kindness
Guys really don’t react well to being given orders, but they find it impossible to resist a bit of ego stroking and kindness. Tell him how well he does things and how much you appreciate him, then give him a big kiss and tell him how much you love him. He will be in just the right frame of mind to help out with the chores, once he has been told how wonderful he is.
10. Get things into perspective
Is the world really going to come to end because he left his coffee cup out again? If you are not careful, nagging becomes a habit and you will find yourself moaning about the most insignificant of things. We all have annoying habits and we all do things a little differently. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if what you are nagging about is really worth all the fuss and the bad feelings that it might be causing.