10 Things a heartbreak can teach you

You can go to school, you can go to college, you can even get yourself a doctorate but, nothing ever prepares you for what you learn from heartbreak. The only way that you can learn how it feels to love and how it feels to lose that love is to, unfortunately, experience it all yourself. It’s a hard way to learn a lesson, but here are ten things that you can take away from heartbreak:

1. What you want is not necessarily what you really need to be happy

With love, comes the strongest feeling of wanting, that a human being can experience, and losing that special person in your life hurts, and it hurts a lot. But from that hurt, there comes strength and an understanding that you can’t have everything in life, just because you want it, and sometimes what you want is not necessarily what you really need to be happy; but we tend to be able to see this truth only by looking back, after the post-breakup healing process is complete.

2. The earth keeps on turning and life really does keep rolling along

It might not be what you wanted and it does take time to heal, but when it’s all done and dusted, you do move on and you do discover that, however bad things may seem, life really does just keep on rolling along.

3. Often, sad endings are just happy new beginnings in disguise

Heartbreak is always a shock even if, deep down, you were expecting it. When it comes, it can feel almost like a physical blow in the pit of your stomach, but after that bolt out of the blue, you learn that you can’t foretell what the future holds in store for you, so you might as well roll with the blows, as they come. But remember, often, sad endings are just the new beginnings of something bright and happy.

4. A heartbreak can become a wake up call to remind you to start loving and accepting yourself again

When one person in a relationship is unhappy, they have to take the difficult decision to hurt someone for the sake of their own happiness. As hard as it may seem to be on the receiving end of such a decision, the lesson to be learned is that you must learn to love and accept yourself again. When in a relationship, some people can be totally consumed by their love toward the other person, so that they completely forget about themselves, or they can be simply controlled, put down and manipulated by the person they love; a heartbreak can become a wake up call that reminds you to start liking, loving and accepting yourself again.

5. Some things hurt more than physical pain

You can take an aspirin for a headache, but only time will heal heartbreak. That is a lesson that nearly everyone will learn at some stage in their life. Emotional pain can even be more damaging, than physical pain, if we do not deal with it, because we can cover it up and try to ignore it. That’s why it is best to accept the pain and accept the grieving, that’s how we heal.

6. A heartbreak can teach you not to confuse obsession or infatuation with true love 

When the pain of heartbreak subsides, the strangest of things begin to happen and you start to question whether you really loved the person in the first place. Many people confuse obsession or infatuation with love and some say that you can’t really recognise true love, until you have experienced heartbreak.

7. A heartbreak teaches you to make the most of what you have today

Time marches on and absolutely nothing lasts forever. With effort, we can make things last longer and with mutual love, a relationship can last a lifetime. Heartbreak though, is a painful reminder that nothing really lasts forever and it teaches you to make the most of what you have today.

8. A heartbreak can teach you to judge people by their actions and not by what they say or by what you feel about them

Love is a complicated business. Love without actions is void. For example, a person who says ‘I love you’ and then cheats, doesn’t know what true love is. The reasons for a person being unfaithful can be complex and many cheaters say that they still love their partner, they just don’t love them ‘in that way’ anymore. It’s a hard one to get your head around and the lesson learned is that you can’t trust in words of love alone, you also need to see some actions. When people don’t show how much they love and care about their partner, they risk to lose love, it can simply fade.

9. When you truly fall in love, you make yourself vulnerable, but it’s worth it!

When you fall in love, you expose yourself to the risk and danger of being hurt and rejected, thus making yourself vulnerable, but as the famous poet, Alfred Lord Tennyson, said:

‘I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.’

10. As there is no understanding of light without experiencing darkness, a heartbreak teaches you to  fully appreciate love

Without dark, there would be no light. In other words, we have to experience the bad things in life to be able to fully appreciate the good. When you have experienced heartbreak, then you learn how wonderful that feeling of love really is and, the next time it comes along, it’s going to be even better than the last.

What other things a heartbreak can teach? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Stay happy, love and be loved!

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