10 Questions you should be able to answer before getting married
Marriage is a big step for anyone and, sadly, not all marriages turn out the way that people dream of. If you are contemplating marriage, it would be wise to make sure that you are not jumping in it too quickly and ask yourself some soul-searching questions, before you say the big ‘I do’. We’re not trying to put you off marriage though, when it works, it’s amazing, but here are ten questions that you really should be able to answer, before you tie the knot:
1. Are you ready to spend the rest of your life with one person?
Marriage is forever, or that is the intention, so are you ready to commit yourself to one person for the rest of your life? This means committed when he’s sick, committed when he’s old, committed through thick and thin. It really is a big commitment and not one to be taken lightly.
2. Do you share the same goals?
This is another one of important questions to ask before getting married: are you giving up a dream for marriage? If so, then be really sure that you will not resent that later. Ideally, your goals should be compatible; so, for example, you both want to travel, or you both want to have a family.
3. Are you marrying because you love him, or because you want to be married?
You also need to ask yourself: ‘Why am I getting married?’ It’s not unusual for people to marry because it is ‘the thing to do’ or, because all their friends seem to have got married. You should be getting married because you love a person and for your own happiness.
4. Can you be faithful?
Faithfulness question is another one of important questions to ask before getting married. A divorce can be a messy and painful affair, so make sure that you are confident that you can stay 100% percent committed to your man. If you have any doubts now about your ability to stay faithful, then getting married may not be right for you, at least, right now.
5. Can you work as a team?
As a married couple, you will have to learn to work as a team. Decisions will need to be made jointly and, although you will still be an individual, looking after number one will no longer be the only priority in your life. Ask yourself if you can see the two of you working together as a team.
6. Do you agree on financial matters?
Next one of important questions to ask before getting married is financial. Problems over money are the biggest cause of divorce, so be sure that you can agree on how you are going to manage your finances. Are you going to have joint accounts and agree joint budgets, for example? If you can’t answer these financial questions now, then you should ask them before you walk down the aisle.
7. Do your beliefs and convictions coincide?
Do you know if your partner has any religious beliefs or strong convictions? It’s quite possible that this hasn’t come up in conversation, but it could become an issue later on. Even if your partner is not a devout follower of any religion, it could be that there would be huge pressure from his family to have any children you have baptized, for example.
8. Are you able to resolve disputes?
How well do you both handle arguments? Do you work together to resolve a dispute or do the arguments become very heated and unpleasant? There will be arguments, in any marriage, and how you are able to cope with them will be an important part of how happy the marriage will be.
9. How well do you get on with his family?
When you get married, like it or not, you will become a part of your partner’s family. You could, of course, argue that this is irrelevant and that you marry because you love the person, not his family. In reality though, you will still have to spend time with his family and gather on family occasions, so it is a consideration.
10. Are you 100% sure that you want to get married?
You can ask as many specific questions as you like, but the biggie is quite simply your gut feeling. If you have any doubts at all, then you should be asking yourself why you have those doubts and, perhaps, ask yourself a few more questions.
Can you think of some other questions to ask before getting married?