10 Must-know signs that you shouldn’t date that guy, even if you are head over heels about him
Falling in love usually strips us of most of our reasoning power. You just don’t care if the guy who makes butterflies flutter in your stomach is good for you or not. But since infatuation does not last very long, the power of reason returns and often finds you looking intently in the opposite direction, because you don’t want to see reason, you’re in love. Spare yourself some pain and go through these ten signs that your current boo is not your best choice:
1. He’s married
We don’t know if there are statistics dealing with the issue of what percentage of married men leave their homes for their girlfriends, but we’re willing to bet this percentage is tiny. It’s sad but true. Things have to be really, really crappy at his home for him to leave. And even if they are the crappiest, he is still as likely as not to stay.
2. He’s been married a few times before he met you
What are the chances of a wonderful, caring man running into and getting married to two or three terrible women over a lifetime? Not really great. It’s much more likely that it’s not the women who have been terrible but him. Think twice about continuing this relationship.
3. He’s never been in a long-term relationship in his life
Any man over 25 who has never had a serious romantic relationship should be regarded with suspicion. The world is full of miserable women with a soft spot for traumatised men with commitment issues. Fair enough, everyone deserves a chance but you might have to pay dearly for this particular one you’re giving him.
4. He’s twice/half your age
We deeply regret to inform you that significant – as in 15-20 years – age differences do not work in the long term and all the happy exceptions simply confirm the rule. The thing is that sooner or later, your priorities and interests will diverge and continue diverging until there is nothing to hold you together.
5. He repeatedly borrows money and forgets to repay it
Fortunately, such behaviour is demonstrated early on in the relationship. Unfortunately, you’re most in love early on in the relationship. It’s your money, of course, and you choose what to do with it, but do you really need a financial parasite – bright eyes, tight little bottom and all? Will you ever be sure he’s with you for love and not money?
6. He can’t seem to hold down a job
The romantic idea of the brave, strong woman that who supports a creative genius who only gets appreciated after his death is just that, a romantic idea. The chances of your guy being a true creative or another genius are pretty slim, given the proportion of geniuses to the overall population. Try to consider the possibility that he’s just lazy and likes the easy life of being supported by his romantic partner.
7. You have vastly different notions of hygiene
Do you seriously want to spend years or even your whole life with someone obsessing over every speck of dust or, conversely, only changing his underwear on Sundays? If you’re both sloppy, that’s fine. If you’re both obsessively clean, that’s fine too. But if you stand on the opposing ends of the cleanliness scale, you’re in for misery.
8. He uses more cosmetic products than you
Seriously, can you live with a man who considers himself an object of beauty that needs constant maintenance? Men’s cosmetics are all fine, when used in moderation. Yet if he spends more time in front of the mirror than you doing his hair and more money than you in beauty salons, your relationship may soon escalate into “Who’s the fairest of them all” competition.
9. He is quick to lose his temper
As long as he’s quick to rein it in, that’s OK, but if you get scared when he’s angry, run and run fast. Many people have trouble with their temper and while some of them get over the problem on their own, others need professional help. This is no laughing matter, so beware.
10. He criticises you
You might think you were lucky to meet a man who knows so much about good manners, good taste, or good whatever you think you lack. You weren’t lucky. You were insecure enough to start dating a man who believes he is a superior being and the only way for him to continue believing it is to make you feel inferior. Why? Because he’s even more insecure than you, that’s why!
Women are said to be more intuitive than men. Intuition can tell you if what you’re feeling is love or a temporary infatuation. Listen to it, or just ask yourself: ‘Am I happy?’ Any answer different from an immediate, confident ‘Yes!’ means you have no future with this guy.