10 Happy Relationship Hacks That Really Work
Looking to brighten up your relationship and restore the magic? Relationship hacks always help.
A few years ago, I was in a really stormy relationship with a guy. We fought endlessly, even though I really liked him and he really liked me. We always made up eventually, but it just felt really rocky.
I used to think about my grandma and granddad and how blissfully happy they still were with each other, after an incredible fifty-five years of marriage.
Fifty-five years! My boyfriend and I were struggling to do five months. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine us lasting fifty-five years. The idea exhausted me in the way imagining getting through a whole day exhausts us when we’re terribly hungover.
But you know what? Four years on from those bickering’s and we’re still together now – happier and are more content than ever before. We love each other. And the best thing? Although I’m not going to look fifty-five years into the future, I can easily see us lasting another four years.
I’m not saying that we discovered the magic formula to relationship success. But we took the time to learn what makes a relationship work and, guess what? It worked for us too.
Here are 10 happy relationship hacks that really work.
Spend Each Day Getting To Know Each Other
One of the problems we face as our relationship moves forward is finding ways of spending quality time together. We’re busy and they’re busy, and the only time we seem to spend in each other’s company is in front of the TV after work. He’s watching sports and you’re playing on your phone. Conversation has been reduced to trivialities.
It’s important that you cherish your partner each day by divining more secrets about them. Always keep exploring. Think you already know all there is to know about them? Think again. People change all the time. Our experiences alter our perspectives. The person he was when you first started to date him is probably a lot different to the one he is now.
Don’t allow yourself to be shocked by his “sudden” change and say “you’ve changed!” Be there with him for the whole journey.
Got a problem with him? Don’t ignore it – talk about it!
Accepting a problem means you can then bring it out into the open and work towards a happy resolution that suits both of you.
Talk About Your In-Laws
Communication is fundamental to the success of any relationship. One topic that often gets overlooked is the in-laws. Why? Probably because we don’t want to upset our partner by telling them that we HATE THEIR MOTHER OMG.
But because in-laws are generally difficult to deal with, it’s super important that you talk to your partner about what’s on your mind. Otherwise, resentment will fester, you’ll keep avoiding them, and he’ll get suspicious, upset and maybe even angry with you.
So speak up!
Don’t leave him out. He wants to be involved. He wants to help and to feel like you want him by your side. Invite him over. Solve problems together. Be a team.
Guess what? Your partner is human – just like you! I know. Shock horror, right?
Of course you already know he’s human. You wouldn’t date an android or an alien. But often we forget how human our partner is when they make a mistake.
We ask them to go to the store and to get us almond milk because we’re trying veganism. But they return with a bottle of milk that has a cow on the label. We’re frustrated – do we react badly and scream that they never get anything right? Or do we accept that they’ve got a busy day, pressure at work and can’t remember everything?
People make mistakes. If you highlight every single mistake he makes, it’s going to tear your relationship apart. Let him learn from the mistakes. Don’t shout at him and belittle him in such a way that he almost wants to repeat the mistake just to spite you.
He’s sick of staying in at the weekend and listening to you tell him you both can’t afford to go out. It’s wearing you both down.
Be spontaneous for once. If you don’t have much money, do something fun on a budget. Get up and get out together.
Talk About Social Media
Now that you’re in a relationship, there are things you can’t do on social media that you once did. You can no longer flirt with that guy you liked in his DM’s, nor can you keep liking lots of guys photos. It’s just not cool and will cause arguments with your partner.
Be sensible about what you both get up to on social media. Talk about it and set acceptable perimeters.
The absolute worse thing you can be is a closed book.
The second worst thing you can be is an open book that has lots of pages missing.
Look, a guy can generally tell when you’re keeping something from him.
Secondly, secrets always come out in the open eventually.
For the sake of a happy relationship, it’s super important that you’re open with him about everything, from what’s on your mind to which guy friends you still text (and maybe even why).
Show Your Love
Screenwriters are always told to “show not tell.” This means that, instead of explicitly writing everything in dialogue so that an idea is drummed into an audiences brain artlessly, a writer should find ways of showing us an emotion non-verbally. It’s more poetic, resonant and powerful.
Be the same. Don’t casually tell them you love them after work – show them.
There’s sometimes not enough praise in a relationship, and this is not really anyone’s fault per say. Sometimes we’re just so intensely focused on our own lives and what we need to get done that we forget to praise our partner for something great they’ve just done.
You don’t need to wait for them to achieve something significant, though. Praise them for the small things. Point out how amazing you think they are. If they raised a great point at a dinner party last night and articulated their views well, mention it the next day. Show them that you’re just as in awe of them as you were when you two first met.