10 Foundations of a happy and successful relationship
Everyone knows that, if you construct a building on sand, it’s going to collapse and, just as a building needs solid foundations for it to last, so too does a relationship. Everyone’s relationship is different and people place different values on different things, but for most people, there are certain things that have to be present in a relationship for it to be healthy and long lasting. Here are ten of those things that most people would agree are needed to underpin a solid and long lasting relationship.
When you enter into a committed relationship you really do have to trust your partner implicitly. If we are talking about foundations, then trust is the cornerstone of a relationship that holds all the other parts together. You need to know that your partner will be faithful, will never hurt you, and will always consider your needs, as well as theirs.
Respect is another thing that must always be present in a relationship. Respect covers a whole range of different things. It means respecting each other’s right to be an individual, respecting each other as human beings, and showing each other the common respect that you would show other people. There is no room in a healthy relationship for words like control, ownership, bullying or violence.
Laughter is one of the simplest pleasures in life and one that can change your whole outlook. If you are able to make each other laugh and you find it easy to share a joke, you will probably be able to get through most things together. One of the most important things not to lose sight of, especially in a long term relationship, is that it’s supposed to make you happy.
Kisses and cuddles help to keep people connected and close, so affection gets a place on this list too. We all know that “can’t your hands off each other” phase dies down after a while, but don’t let it disappear altogether. Simple human contact is a very powerful thing and we all need a reassuring cuddle sometimes.
Everyone makes mistakes and sometimes we hurt the people we love, but if you can say sorry when you mess up, then you can move on. There is no place for false pride in a relationship and there are no prizes for winning arguments. To make a relationship a strong one, you need to be able to admit when you are wrong and know when to say sorry.
You need to be able to listen just as well as you can talk. If you don’t talk about your feelings and your concerns; they will just build up and cause resentment. Couples who stay together for a lifetime talk about everything and absolutely nothing is off limits. They are able to have open and honest discussions, even if, sometimes, those discussions might be a bit painful.
There should be no lying at all in a relationship, because lies will always eventually come out into the open and damage the trust that we have already mentioned. When you think about it, if you have all the other foundations in place, there should be no need for any lies anyway. The problem with lies is that, once you start, they can rapidly spiral out of control and you can find yourself having to make up new lies, merely to cover up the original one.
Freedom to retain your individuality within a relationship is so important. You should have your own circle of friends and you should have your own pastimes and hobbies. If you let the relationship stifle your individuality, eventually it will cause irrevocable damage. A healthy relationship is a partnership of two distinct individuals who decided to merge their destinies.
9. Sexual intimacy
Sexual intimacy is an expression of love that most couples need in a relationship. It is the closest that human beings can become and it binds people together. Keeping that intimacy exciting is another important aspect of a relationship too. So, being able to talk openly about it is also a must.
10. Friendship and kindness
As well as love, you also need friendship and kindness in a relationship. That means that your partner is the one person that you always know you can go to with any problem that you have, however trivial you might think it might seem. Your partner should be the rock you can cling on to when things get really rough and the one you can turn to when you need to talk.