10 Helpful Tips On How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
At some point or another, we all compare ourselves to others.When we’re not comparing ourselves to our best friend, we’re comparing ourselves to secondary friends, associates, and even friend of friends of friends. Of friends.
And when we’re not doing that, we’re being really silly by comparing ourselves and our lives with major celebrities, such as Angelina Jolie.
Why has she got Brad Pitt, millions of pounds in the bank, and movie-star looks and I haven’t?!
The problem with comparing yourself to others is that it can really get you down. While your best friend from Kindergarten is happily married, has 3 kids and 2 cars, you’re still trying to land a job and a flat.
There is absolutely no need to compare yourself to others. You’re a unique, wonderful butterfly who is carving out your own journey in life. Let’s look at 10 tips on how to stop comparing yourself to others.
Realise That Things Are Not Always As They Seem
So your best friend since Kindergarten is married, has three kids, two cars, a big house and a pet tortoise called Elvis. This doesn’t mean she is happy, or that her life isn’t without problems.
We’re not saying that people being unhappy should make you feel much better about yourself, but it’s totally pointless to compare your life to others when you don’t know everything about their lives. They might be married, they might have kids, a house and a car, but these are just surface things. It might look like the idyllic life to you, but you only see a snapshot of how things really are.
Facebook Tells You Very Little
Another tip on how to stop comparing yourself to others is to understand that Facebook tells you very little. How often have you logged onto Facebook, scrolled down your newsfeed and become dismayed when you see yet more photos of everyone having fun, having kids, and having a life?
It’s easy to scroll forlornly through your newsfeed and assume that everyone is doing better than you, simply because their photographs suggest so.
As mentioned in the above tip, things are not always as they seem. Yes, your friend might be having a whale of a time in Ibiza, but this is just a mere snapshot of their whole life. Moreover, people on Facebook tend to project an image that they want you to see. What is shown on Facebook is not necessarily how things really are. It is often a diluted version of ourselves, with all the blemishes and woes removed.
In Fact, Get Off Social Media Altogether
If you really just cannot deal with seeing photos of your happy friends and their amazing lives thrust in your face every five minutes, it’s time to take a sabbatical from social media and focus on other aspects of your lives.
Social media is addictive anyway, and it’s eating up all the time you could be using to be more productive.
Get Rid Of Your Idols
Next tip on how to stop comparing yourself to others is to get rid of all your idols, because idolising anyone, be it celebrities, athletes, artists and so on is very bad for your soul. It can alter your personality, and cause you to harbour some very unrealistic dreams. All of a sudden, you wake up realising that you are not quite as amazing as your idols. You either try to become them, or you lie in bed, forlorn.
Don’t put people on a pedestal. Remember that everyone is a human just like you. They’re capable of fantastic things, and so are you. But your goals and theirs are very different. If you must listen to anyone, buy yourself a self-help book and discover ways in which you can achieve your goals and dreams.
Be Grateful For What You Do Have
Life can be terrible for some of us, but we’re often told that “things could always be worse.”
The truth is that, yes, things can always be worse – much worse.
So our next tip on how to stop comparing yourself to others is to forget about what you don’t have and be grateful for what you do have. You have your health and your whole life ahead of you. Some people are not so lucky. Stop comparing yourselves with others and use the things you have to your advantage.
Focus On Your Strengths
We all have strengths and weaknesses. When we compare ourselves to others, we become our own worst enemies; we focus on our weaknesses and forget all about our strengths.
We focus on our perceived lack of looks, financial stability, lack of direction and purpose, lack of a boyfriend and so on.
Another good advice on how to stop comparing yourself to others is to to shift focus to your strengths. These are the often ignored parts of your life and personality that are dying for you to give them some attention. I can hear your health screaming, “Hey! Come and take a look at me for once! Okay, so I might have premature ageing cells, but come on! I’m primed and ready for action! Take me somewhere, do something with me!”
You Can’t Always Win
There will always be someone in the world who is better than you at something. Realising this is important, because it will lower your expectations. It will stop you comparing yourself to others.
You buy a brand new car, and your friend will get an even newer one next month. It’s just the way things work. Accept it and get out of the competition.
When you compare yourself to others, you focus on your low points, don’t you? You focus on your blemishes, and your faults.
It’s time to remind yourself of your accomplishments and broadcast them to the world. If you’ve achieved something memorable at work today, tell people about it. Post it to Facebook and feel good about yourself. If you’ve got a raise, tell your mom and your friends. If you’ve bagged yourself a new job, tell your friends you’re all going out tonight to celebrate!
Be Happy For Others
Sharing in other people’s joy is another great tip on how to stop comparing yourself to others. Envy is really toxic and it can alter your personality for the worse. When you should be happy for your friends and their achievements, envy instead makes you feel bitterness and hostility. It’s as though you don’t want them to succeed!
But this is the sign of an immature person, as well as someone who lacks self-esteem. Being happy for others and sharing in their joy really is a fantastic way to make you feel more positive about yourself. Rather than cradling your friend’s new baby and thinking, “WHY ISN’T THIS MY BABY” you should be happy for them, and remind yourself about the good things in your life.
Listen To Yoko Ono
Let us end on this inspiring message from Yoko Ono:
“Transform jealousy to admiration, and what you admire will become part of your life.”
Essentially, if you want to become the best, you have to listen to – and follow – the best.
How to stop comparing yourself to others? What are your tips?