If You Want To Be Truly Happy, Say Goodbye To These 10 Things
We all want to be happy. If you asked women what they want most out of life, they will probably list very similar things: a stable marriage, financial security, children, health and happiness.
But for far too many of us, happiness seems to be elusive. No matter how hard we try, we just can’t seem to find it. Instead, we wallow in sadness and loneliness, and we wonder what in the heck we are doing wrong.
The problem could be that you’re looking for happiness in the wrong places. It could be that you’re clinging onto things that you need to let go of. Let’s take look at 10 things you need to say goodbye to, in order to be happy.
1. Toxic Friendships
We’ve all got a friend who is eternally miserable. They moan about everything, from the weather to the fact that there are no good movies anymore. Being around them can be a bore, because each time you try to be positive they put you down. Indeed, they put a downer on everything.
This is an issue for you, because their negativity is infectious. Pretty soon, you’ll be feeling as negative as they are about life, and you may find yourself adopting their bad habits. To ensure that you’re making a positive change, leave all toxic friendships behind.
2. Self-Defeating Talk
How many times have you considered applying for a job, only to think “but I won’t get it.”
Or how about that time you set up an online dating profile, but refrained from messaging anyone out of fear that no one will reply.
Self-defeating talk is dangerous because it shapers your future. Rather than getting out and grabbing your chance of happiness, you’re instead taking no chances. As such, you continue to live the same humdrum life of zero ambition. Happiness won’t come to you – you have to build yourself up, head out there and get it.
Another tip on how to be happy is to stop comparing yourself to others. Yes, your friend might have a huge house, a handsome husband, four kids, two cars, a swimming pool and financial security, but by comparing yourself to others you are simply demeaning who you are.
No one else is going to be like you, and there are no doubt people who are envious of your situation and who would love to be in your shoes. And just like it’s pointless for them wasting their time, it’s pointless for you wasting your time by comparing yourself to others. Take hold of your own life and shape your destiny.
4. Unrealistic Expectations
Setting unrealistic expectations is just asking for trouble. If you say to yourself that you will drop three jean sizes in a day or two, you will inevitably be miserable when you don’t even drop one jean size.
This is all just wishful thinking. To make sure that you become happier, it’s time to start lowering the bar and setting more realistic, long-term goals. Use your common sense and work towards a goal that you know you can meet.
It’s okay to feel exhausted at 10PM after a long day at work. That’s fine. You deserve to flop onto you bed and snooze fully-clothed.
But it’s not okay to wake up at 10AM before sitting around all morning in your pyjamas, claiming that you are “too tired” to do anything beyond watching the television.
This kind of tiredness will only make you miserable. It will lead to an unproductive day, where life just passes you by. It’s time to take the bull by the horns, get energised and make things happen.
Someone once said that a messy home is the first step towards depression. When our home is cluttered with junk, we feel stressed and disorganised. We can’t find where anything is, and we often don’t even make an attempt.
One of the best tips on how to be happy is to clean up your home. If you have too much stuff, consider what you can get rid of. Do you really need everything in your home? Chances are you don’t. De-cluttering is a great way to relieve stress.
7. Being Right
People who always have to be right become really stressed out and unhappy when they are proved wrong. If you’re one of those who simply cannot deal with the idea of being wrong, you probably fight all your arguments to the death, even losing friendships along the way. Being right is everything to you and your ego.
But it’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to gracefully accept that the other person is right from time to time. Lengthy arguments are unproductive, and proving someone wrong is a surefire way to stress you out, and leave you feeling desperately unhappy afterwards. It’s time to start holding your hands up and leaving an argument early.
Another good tip on how to be happy is to stop complaining.
“The weather is so rubbish today! It’s totally ruined my vacation! Argh!”
“OMG why is there nothing good on television anymore?!”
“The gas man is FIVE hours late! I swear if he doesn’t get here soon, I’m going to scream!”
Constantly complaining is only going to make you miserable. It’s certainly not going to make you happy. Rather than complain, why not just roll with it and realise that there are some things, such as the weather, that are out of your control. Therefore, it’s not worth your time to waste energy on complaining about them.
If things aren’t going your way, think about how you can use them to your advantage. If the gas man is late, why not read a book to pass the time and gain some knowledge? If it’s raining, why not stay indoors and play some board games, or why not to dance in the rain?
9. The Idea Of A Perfect Life
There really is no such thing as the perfect life. Even if you attained what you thought was the perfect life, you’ll soon realise that, actually, this life isn’t so perfect after all. There are still lots of things to worry about, and lots of things that go wrong.
Rather than lying around feeling blue because your “perfect life” is out of reach, why not make an effort to considerably work on improving what is within your reach? You can create as good a world as you want – as long as you give up any notions of perfection.
10. Dwelling On The Past
Our final tip on how to be happy is to say goodbye to the past.
Memories are nice to look back at, now and then, especially if you’re feeling nostalgic, whimsical – and happy.
They are not necessarily good to look back at, if you’re feeling unhappy, though. Memories can remind you that things used to be better, and they can cause you to feel desperately sad.
It’s time to let go of the past and move onto the future. Learn from your mistakes, and make sure that you don’t make them again. The past cannot be changed, but your future can.
How to be happy? What are your best tips.