7 Small habits that steal your happiness
Habits, good and bad alike, take time to develop but once they are deeply ingrained in your mind, it’s well nigh impossible to get rid of them or change them without a conscious effort. If the habit is good, such as always finding the positive side of a situation, then you don’t need changing it, but what about bad habits? You might not even realise you have a habit that’s holding you back and preventing you from being as happy as you should be. Here are some habits of that variety that you may want to consider getting rid of, because they are not helping you in any way.
1. Always waiting for the perfect moment/job/man/happiness, while missing real opportunities
Thinking that the perfect job/man/happiness is just around the corner isn’t so bad, but there is a problem with this, and it is that you never get to turn this corner. The perfect job, man or happiness is a utopian concept, it’s not something that actually exists. If you focus constantly on it, waiting for this corner to appear in front of you already, you will miss an immeasurable number of chances to find a job that, although not entirely perfect, you might enjoy doing, or a man who, although not the embodiment of Prince Charming, is good-looking, funny and cares about you. Forget the perfect this or that, grab the opportunities that are in front of you right now.
2. Comparing yourself to other people
The tendency to compare ourselves to other people is probably inborn. We all do it, to a greater or lesser extent, however, the people who do it less are the happier ones. The problem with comparisons is that some of them at least won’t be in your favour and thinking that you’re less attractive, less successful, less smart, than another person is definitely not the most motivating thought. It’s hard to accept our flaws and move on despite them, but constantly comparing yourself to others only makes life even more difficult, not to mention it can distract you from what you should be doing, and that’s following your own dreams and becoming the prefect version of yourself. Turn your flaws into advantages and embrace your own beautiful uniqueness!
3. Choosing a career that you absolutely dislike
‘I’m only in this job for the money…’ This is the most unhealthy attitude to your career development. On the plus side, it’s the quickest and surest way to discover for yourself that money doesn’t buy happiness. Doing something that you don’t enjoy even in the smallest bit is a form of self-inflicted torture. It’s true that we all have bills to pay but there are also a lot of jobs out there and finding one that you enjoy at least to a degree is not a mission impossible. Alternatively, you could try finding something beyond money in your current job, such as acquiring new skills, albeit unaware of it. It’s very important to find a harmonious balance between work and play.
4. Wholeheartedly believing everything that is shown and said on TV
‘I’d rather think with the TV, not my brain’ – this is a habit that’s taking epidemic proportions nowadays. Some people also substitute TV with Facebook, Twitter, etc. You get the picture, right? Many people spend so much time consuming social media content that they start being unable to think independently, they just devour whatever their Facebook wall or their favoured TV station throws their way. Think about how you feel after spending some time on a social network or in front of the TV. If you feel confused, irritated or sad, you might want to change this habit or, at least, devote less time to indulging in it.
5. Being fearful of success
‘I have too many fears to succeed in anything’ – this one is a particularly difficult habit to let go of. We all have fears and some of these are just a normal expression of our survival instinct. Not all, however. Some fears develop as we grow up and worm their way so deep into our mind that they can literally ruin our lives. Fear of commitment, for example. Some people, when they get hurt, get hurt so badly that they never risk experiencing the same again, and thanks to this destructive fear, they actually blow their chances of ever having a healthy relationship. This is just one example, but the variety of fears that can cripple people’s minds is immense. The way to beat such fear is by convincing yourself that 90% of what you fear will never, ever happen. It really won’t!
6. Procrastinating and putting off to tomorrow that which you could do today
‘I can always do this later’…Yep, this is the favorite saying of procrastinators. Putting things off is similar to waiting for the perfect moment, it’s actually another facet of it. Nobody likes having to do unpleasant or boring stuff, but it’s a fact of life that we sometimes simply have to do such things. Accomplishment of any worthy goal requires physical, mental or/and emotional efforts, and the success that you achieve in the end will be worth all the initial efforts and will make you feel absolutely amazing!
7. Harboring negativity
Negativity is one of the most destructive things one can harbour. It can drain you of all your strength and take control over your life, if you let it. This is valid both for negativity directed outwards, towards someone or something else, or towards oneself. Think about it – do you really have the time and emotional capacity to harbour negativity instead of feeling something positive? No one feels better when they harbour negative thoughts, than when they love. Love is not the only alternative to negativity, however, so you don’t need to force yourself to love the person or thing you’ve disliked until now. Just tune it down a bit, then a bit more, until there’s no negativity left and what’s left is at worst a mild annoyance. Unfortunately, we can’t go through our entire lives without any negative feelings, but resisting their full force is something any of us can do.
How to become happier?