20 Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
Happiness is something we all want. Here are 20 things you need to give up to be happy.
The novel The Unbearable Lightness Of Being is a story about a few characters whose lives are made lighter by giving things up. Whether they abandon bad relationships or the place they live, they go onto experience the “lightness of being.”
For the characters in the book, this lightness of being is unbearable. But for most of us who are pursuing happiness, the lightness of being is something we should be aiming for.
We all have things in our life that, without us even being aware of it, are putting the blocks on our personal happiness. Perhaps we’re lingering in a relationship too long, sticking around a dead end job too long, or maybe there are bad habits we enjoy that we just can’t give up.
The road to happiness often begins by giving something up as you refresh your life. Let’s take a look at 20 things you should give up to be happy.
Stop Being Right All The Time
Wanting to be right all the time can cause us a lot of stress. It puts pressure on us because we’ve associated a lot of pain with being wrong.
We simply can’t be seen to be wrong. It harms our ego, and damages our pride. And when we are wrong – which will happen – it makes us unhappy.
It isn’t worth the stress and the pressure to always be right. Moreover, being right all the time actually means you’re upsetting other people. Do you really want to be the person who constantly proves other people wrong?
Or do you want to let them be right for once, even if you know they’re not? It will simmer arguments and tensions quicker, and will make the other person feel better for once.
Stop Thinking About The Past
The past is the past. It happened. But it doesn’t need to keep defining you.
Make your peace with the past, accept that things happened, have a cold shower – and move on.
Stop Blaming Other People
One thing that successful, happy people do is they take responsibility. If they’ve made a mistake and a client calls them out on it, they’ll hold their hands up and accept that they made the mistake. It allows them to move on quickly and take control of rectifying the situation.
Blaming other’s for your own mistakes takes you into a viscous cycle that is hard to get out of. You lose power over your own destiny, you lose control, and you can ultimately lose credibility.
Stand up for your own decisions. Take control of matters. It puts your destiny into your own hands.
Stop Being Attached To The Wrong Things
We all have attachments to things. But sometimes we’re attached to the wrong things that leave us feeling unhappy.
Experience the lightness of being by assessing what you’re too attached to. Then, release yourself. This could be something as simple as your iPhone, or it could be something with greater emotional implications, such as a home you can’t bring yourself to leave, even if it would be in your greatest interests to do so.
Stop Being A Perfectionist
Perfectionism is a huge boulder planted in the middle of our personal road to happiness. If you are a perfectionist, the chances are that you rarely allow yourself to be happy.
Let’s say that you can’t admit you’re smart until you get straight A’s. That’s a lot to aim for. It means that even if your get an A minus, you’ll still insist to yourself and other people that you’re not smart.
And when you admit you’re not smart, it can have a detrimental effect on your happiness.
Stop aiming so high. It’s like people in love who can’t bring themselves to be happy unless their partner showers them with love every single day. We’re denying ourselves happiness because we expect so much.
Lower your expectations.
Stop Living Life According To What People Expect Of You
Everyone has an idea of the type of person you are. And it’s tempting to believe you need to live up to that conception.
Stop it. Live up to your own expectations.
Some people say that unless they complain all the time, changes will never get made. They complain to their friends about politics, about work, about their boss, about traffic, about broken washing machines … they complain about everything!
But complaining isn’t getting you anywhere, and by always focusing on the problems you’re never going to feel blissfully happy.
When there is a problem you can solve, shift your focus to the solution.
When there is a problem you can’t solve (such as a traffic jam), shit your focus. Think about how you can use your time productively in this moment. Maybe you could take an online exam you’ve been putting off for a few weeks. Maybe you could read the book in your book. Maybe you could map out your business idea.
Whatever you do, stop complaining. It will make you and others around you a lot happier!
Stop Trying To Find Yourself
What does finding ourselves even mean? A lot of the time, this search can lead us down a dark rabbit hole with nothing at the end of it.
Stop Being So Defeatist
How many times have you approached something new with a positive, “I sure as heck-fire can do this!” attitude?
And how many times have you approached something new with a negative, “I can’t do this” attitude?
Your attitude really can make or break you. By switching from a defeatist attitude to a winner’s attitude, you can boost your chances of success, as well as your happiness.
We’ve all got the right to be our own cheerleader. If we don’t cheer ourselves on, who else is going to?
Being happy begins with your mindset. Stop defeating yourself before you’ve even started something, and instead start building yourself up. It’s empowering and kinda fun.
Stop Comparing Yourself To Others
Delete your Instagram app.
Stop Seeking Validation From Other People
A big stumbling block for many of us on our personal road to happiness is our need to secure validation from others before we start being happy.
We need to impress a guy with our body before we allow ourselves to feel good about how we look.
We need to impress our professor with our grades before we allow ourselves to admit that we’re smart.
We need people to “like” our Facebook statuses before we allow ourselves to admit that people like us.
Seeking validation from other people can leave you feeling unhappy, especially when they don’t give it to you. Stop trying so hard to impress others. Wearing different masks all the time is exhausting, and it takes you away from who you really are.
Just be yourself. If others come to, they come to you. If not, it’s no big loss. All that matters is that YOU feel good about yourself and what you’re doing in life.
Stop Doing Everything For Other People
You’re a real nice person, but you can’t help other people all the time. To be happy, it’s necessary to be kind and generous to others.
But it’s also necessary that you put yourself first.
Stop With The Limiting Beliefs
Many of us deny ourselves happiness because we impose limiting beliefs on ourselves. We say we can’t do this or that. We’re not good enough. Sure, someone else did it, but they came from a more privileged background than we did. They had money, and talent. What have we got?
The number one way to not achieve your dreams and ultimate happiness is to tell yourself that you can’t do something. Once you do that, you won’t even try.
Beliefs are cemented by our experiences of life, but also our interpretations of those experiences. They are also formed by our perceptions.
But look, if someone else did what you want to do, there is absolutely no reason why you can’t do it too. They are human just like you!
The difference between them and you is that they believed in themselves and took action, while you continue to tell yourself that you can’t do it.
You can. Go and do it!
Stop Following Negative Stories On Facebook
Does politics get you down? Then stop following those politics blogs!
Stop Resisting Change
If you study successful, happy people, you’ll notice that they embrace change.
These are the kind of people who get excited when Facebook changes its interface.
The rest of us, however, spit our dummies out and say haughtily that we’re “never using Facebook again!” We can’t believe that someone would have the audacity to change something!
But you know what? Change is good. And it’s about time you started embracing it.
Change is what stops us from stagnating. It’s what opens up doors to our dreams. It’s what allows us to experience life in its wonderful, unpredictable panorama.
Without change, life would be boring. There would be no progress, and very little success.
Stop With The Dieting
If diets are making you unhappy, stop it. Unless you’re at serious risk of chronic disease, eat what you want.
If there is one thing on this list that’s going to be difficult to give up, it’s worry.
“I can give up being defeatist, complaining about everything and blaming other people. But worry? No, you gotta let me keep worry. I love my worry!”
We know it’s hard to stop worrying about things. But guess what? Worry is not a natural part of the human condition.
Happy people don’t worry. They know they’ve got nothing to lose. What will be will gosh darn be.
Worry restricts you from achieving all that you want to achieve. It keeps you indoors, safely tucked away in your comfort zone while life is happening elsewhere to other people.
Try going a day without worrying and see what happens. See how it makes you feel.
Once you stop worrying, life becomes a gift filled with awesome possibilities.
Stop Criticising Others
Spend your day criticising other people? You need to give it up if you want to be happy, as criticism is an easy way to enwrap yourself with negative energy.
There are a lot of people who love nothing more than a good gossip. They love to scroll through their Facebook newsfeed and criticise people for their outfits, their hair, or their ambition.
Don’t be one of these people. Criticism is much easier than offering words of encouragement, and it’s much more harmful – especially to yourself. The more you criticise others, the more you surround yourself with negative energy.
Try praising people instead. Try being nice to others. Appreciate that they are making small changes in their life to be happy.
Stop Doing It All Yourself
Reach out to other people. They’re ready to help you. You’re not Wonder Woman.
Stop Being So Nice All The Time
You don’t want to go out with your friend tonight but you also don’t want to just say No to them. So you try to soften the blow by making up some excuse that isn’t true, before adding that you’ll see them next week (even though you don’t want to hang out next week either).
Instead of being nice to people all the time when you have to turn them down, be more assertive and say No. It’ll make you so much happier in the long run.
When you’re not direct and upfront with someone, they won’t understand what you’re saying. And so they’ll keep coming back to ask you. Your excuses won’t be strong enough, and eventually you’ll end up doing something you really didn’t want to do.
Moreover, making excuses and telling white lies is stressful. Just be upfront from the start. Say No. You don’t need to give a reason Why unless they ask.
Cut to the chase. It will save you time and allow you to do the things that will make you happy.