10 Tips on how to overcome fear of rejection
Wouldn’t it be great, if you could really not care a jot, if people liked you or they did not? Completely not caring at all might be a step too far, but for some people, the fear of rejection is so strong, that it prevents them from trying at all. This fear actually has a name, it is called atychiphobia, which is a fear of failure. But this fear is generally unfounded, so read these ten tips on how you can begin to overcome your irrational fear of rejection:
1. Understand where the fear comes from
Understanding where your fear of rejection came from, can be the best place to start, if you want to conquer your phobia. It could have emanated from your early childhood, your school days or your first jobs, but the fear of rejection is most often caused by an uncomfortable episode in early life. If you can understand where the fear comes from, this could be the first step in conquering it.
2. There is actually nothing to fear
Another good tip on how to overcome fear of rejection is to understand that there is nothing to fear! The fear of rejection is an irrational one, because it can’t actually, physically, hurt you. It’s not nice being turned down for a job or being dumped after a first date, but it’s certainly not going to kill you. What’s more, it is not going to stop you trying again and you may even learn something from someone saying: ‘No thanks’.
3. Accept that rejection is just a natural part of life
Understand that everyone in the world suffers rejection all the time. Even the most successful businessman in the world knows that not everyone will want to buy his product, and the most beautiful woman in the world won’t be attractive to every man. That’s life, and you can’t possibly be what everyone wants, all of the time.
4. Set realistic expectations
Next good tip on how to overcome fear of rejection is to understand that a rejection could just be a timely wakeup call for you. If you are applying for jobs that clearly state the requirement for, at least, five years experience, and you have none, then a rejection or two might be just what you need, so that can pitch your applications to more appropriate vacancies.
5. Stop your ‘End of the World’ way of thinking
Another great suggestion on how to overcome fear of rejection is to understand that you cannot predict the future, so do not assume that any single rejection represents the end of the world. This is what many people do. They assume that, if they don’t get this exact job, or this particular person as their life partner, there will never be another like it or that this guy (or girl) is the one and the only one. Not true, and you know it, if you really think it through.
6. Don’t always seek the approval of others, listen to your heart instead
Often, we are just seeking the approval others and, if we do get offered the job, or asked on a date, we will turn it down anyway, just to please someone else! This type of fear of not being approved by people is completely counterproductive and will only drag you down. So, think. Is it really that important to you that you get accepted by all people? Or you just try to prove something to someone? Listening to your heart is the best option.
7. Don’t think that you always have to be right
Another reason why some people fear rejection is that they believe that are always right. They assume that they are perfect for the job or that they will make the perfect lover for a guy or a girl, but you don’t really know what that person is looking for. They could be looking for a three armed girl with six legs and two heads, you never know! So, don’t assume that you know what is right for them.
8. Treat rejection as a lesson learned
There are only two constructive ways to look at rejection. On one hand, you can learn from it by asking yourself why you didn’t get what you want and, that way, it can be a valuable experience. The other way to look at it is that you had a lucky escape! Better to learn now, that you might not have been compatible with the job or the person, than find out later.
9. There is nothing to fear, but fear itself
There is one important thing to remember. If you fear rejection, then you will probably will be rejected, it’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. In a nutshell, it means that, if you enter a situation, expecting to fail, then you will appear to lack confidence and self-belief, and yes, you have really big chance to fail then. In fact, if you already half-believe, in your subconscious, that you will fail, then a part of you just wants to prove that you were right all along. So, be fearless and believe in your success, no matter what! If you fall down, get up, and continue to run.
10. Adopt the ‘and so what’ attitude
No one can really adopt a total ‘so what’ attitude, but a little in that way of thinking won’t hurt. Try and think of a rejection as not even a chapter in your life, but just one, insignificant paragraph. And anyway, it’s their loss, not yours.
How to overcome fear of rejection? Feel free to share your tips.